Imagine you as entity, whole in the womb.

Embryo enjoined into vessel of being but yet unawakened, without breath, sparkless. [1]

Also not yet named in one’s inner ear clearly,

Nor until now did a parent look you in the eye when saying your combination of vowels and consonants.

Growing in and with your mother’s flame of love/hate spirit, but floating in her muffled vessel (for months and months).

her chemical fierceness –

felt guarding and protecting you in your skin of being, still unborn.

Before birth, there is no “you” yet.

Your infant vessel, without being called, has no “I” to lose. Until  then is still liquid crystal; with organization like smooth muscle – liquid crystal.

When born, first time, you can clearly discern, who is who- and how she feels about it. Your mother that is, the one who carried you.

In our name is our personality – that is when the vowels and consonants are added together. The vessels are the consonants; the vowels our soul song. Stand them together, is entity organized to represent your infant (w)Hol(e) (as parent sees you).

For a while, you might get a couple of nicknames by them coining some special attribute about your corporeal self- what else are they responding to anyway but seeing you through their lens of how a thing might feel or be felt like- to them walking in your shoes.

Until your vowels and consonants are sounded together, your soul isn’t quite focused into you yet- though does progressively, when ones name is out loud ‘spelled’.

I know this isn’t the first time, I’ve written about AEIOU but, here is another installment.

We have short A’s and long A’s, high pitched and low, but all version of them make you release sound from low to high, at least to start with. Words starting with “A”, make one sigh a little, “Aw(e)” inside. 

In English, we don’t have 2 A’s together, unlike Hawaiian, where the Aa lava flows- rough cooled lava that flows outside of the mainstream- unlike the smooth lava l flows like boiling tar and congeals into ripples.

When you stand in awe, you’re a little breathless – you can only gawk and become engaged, beauty and innocence, irresistibly drawing you into a dream of standing wave. Aleph gives the breath, Your heart let’s it in

Mem’s מ Blessing

reaches into your emotional depths nonetheless. You become (at-)one with the thing/picture that halted you, now you’re at-tuned to the other.

A thing of (w)hol(e)-ness, you see with your Ayin’s ע crown eye’s receptors receiving photons bounced or emitted – you can’t really tell.

*****

After a while, your awe becomes indifference; you exhale without pitch.

You become short with your ‘e’; your cadence staccato.

What’s going on is ’meh’. Life maintains regularity, despite its forms of change.

Meh, stays manageable, when it’s men around. Here, ‘h’ can lose his head, become an ‘n’, and blend in.  He can do his dharma, whatever that looks like- this a form of obedience to his own way and path.

Working as the engineer, as in seemingly emotionless, ‘men’ will set to produce his (Saturn’s) forms using math and logic. They want to leave important legacy – not just in her eyes, but in those of his tribe.

Man, as in the male gender, can not create with their body a child, but may produce miracles with their hands, when heart is involved.[2]

‘Course with ‘n’, his form of self, we know N as Nun, נ is mirage; ‘N’ is boson pixels, grouping to form soul’s archetype. “N”, is our entity self -vessel and vowel holder. In Hebrew, “n”, as “nun”, means fish.

Once organized (like a school of fish)- that is, individual man can look quite large on radar- even if it’s thousands of tiny fish- from the outside he’s enormous- fooling his master’s eye and looking big.

Does he, the master, really believe his minion’s whole-heartedly engaging? Does he not know,  the minion is doing what he must do- to keep intact while his mind is elsewhere dreaming?

Must a boss be so e-vil as to assume power over not with? Such a poor boss engenders more e-vil later.

Without the distractions of “S”, as when he becomes a she and engaging lustful snake Teth, ט , men look straight in front of them, focused on neither right or left, up or down. Non-distracted is their gaze.

I was married to an “E” once; he was quite predictable. (Of course I am one too- we marry what we are).

Being “E”, is really OK.

After a crisis (as in too much Yod ׳ with all His, “I”s), “E” helps you regain keel. Notice how the two “ee”s together, give a sense of grounding.[3]

“E” too, has sounds that can project in myriad short and long ways.

Long ‘e’ might be when he’s squealing with excitement and letting out his glee. Such as when his roller coaster car is descending quite rapidly, he might even scream.

Then it’s best to just hang on tight to vessel’s edges- choices have been made, eventually the ride will stop. Know all will be OK when it slows and stops.

 But “ee” as he peters (out that is), begins to become squeaky.

Here is when “i’ might come in- little “I” has his dot above him- both parts are Yod ׳ and where entity reign; entities of ideas that is – of what  this or that want feels like, were a thing to be true (for you) whether in the past or future.

With “I”, Entities come in like tips of a finger – you don’t know there’s a whole finger with a palm behind it, let alone a hand, guiding it! That Yod  י  fellow is quite unpredictable!

Interesting how Yod י is spelled with itself  ד ו י (spelled right to left in Hebrew) thus, he’s a circular argument- meaning you will never quite get to his root. No doubt, Yod is one of the earliest of G-d’s messengers.

But here’s a clue: Yod’s path, the Hermit, connects Chesed (mercy) to Tiphereth (beauty) and is ruled by Mercury which also resonates with Hod’s sephiroth. Yod mirrors our desire for precise naming.

With an entity’s ‘help’, be it a teacher or guru, you’ve climbed your ladder, and now are high enough to see a much bigger picture than you could have ever conceived; your path is your own, not the same as your teachers.

From your vantage, you’re flooded with a new set of ideas, while you’re heart’s rekindled- (or tamped, depending on what you’re rising from and seeing.)

You feel the ‘O’ around you; all is (w)hole(e), wholly, and holy.

Now truth is known within its larger relationship.

You’re Hol(e)- in one, as it were and you utter “O” now- exhaling the vowel. While “O” is from Vau, it’s of Teth and Samech also. [4]

Getting up above higher and higher maybe there are clouds overhead –

All the sudden you look down and wonder how you’ll ever get down- let alone land?

Must you come down, exactly the way you went up? or might you find some arch like bridge or bow, to help you descend and gracefully regain your feet.

Now even though “O”, looks like Samech, letter “O” said to be from Vau expanding out as ripples in a still pond from Vau’s mark on consciousness.

Ripples of energy propagate, even if slow when cooled, will still always reflect when this energy reaches an obstacle – rock sitting in the water looking back (at him).

At which point the outgoing ray rebounds- creating interference energy pattern with what is incoming. His message gets a glitch.  Hardly anyone likes those who talk back.

Admittedly, some “O”s are experienced implosively as if reflecting in all directions  and back onto oneself -sitting in the middle.

Refined now in what was reflected -versus refracted or dissipated, builds on the center like totem pole- becoming an “O” with a dot in it. This is then your glyph of sun sign- (or picture of a nipple).

Creating a break in the perfection; the “O” splits into “U”.  We individuate but remain rooted together.

With foundations intact- joined at the bottom of the “U” between two “I”s, there is separation in oneself and your dream other.

Reset once more, you think there must be more, and yes, with “U” there’s his little right kickstand (when he’s little “u”, you can see it, later he incorporates- with you anamnestically, he draws on his tangible (G-d) forms as soon as you’re around- be it for money or power).

Notice “U” has short and long forms, “U” pronounce “You”  like the long one, but “you”s, “U” is silent.

I guess that’s what happens when you point a finger, as I am learning- the other clams up- as if they’re saying, “I see you, but am not listening. I hear you no more – my heart is ignoring you.

*****

Vowels are ‘sound’, vibrations of energy utter from corpus or emitted – released but not struck. Vowels have no name – no tongue or lips to hold them. Without their consonant, they aren’t Nun – illusion of vessel. Consonants are sounds spoken when our tongue and lips touch oral surfaces.

With our consonants spoken, we experience ourselves as physical. We ‘know’ we aren’t just wave forms- and become even more real -when another waveform concurs tangibly.

In my dream world, there are cool-headed debates, not hot-headed arguments, where no one is caught up in emotional loops, we are listening to each other and our hearts are open. 

Brainstorming to problem solve, requires diversity to be creatively successful. We need to overlook the obvious.

But then, put all different brain’s together -guarantees dissonance; the devil is in the duality’s details. It is still part of starting somewhere – to create a new (standing wave) solution’s outline.

The part of dissonance that doesn’t serve is f-ears- belief’s clogging ears, and no-thing of Beth . So remember G-d’s got your back.

Everything will work out. All is Inshallah!

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[1] Yes, all the parts are there waiting to be activated, but until they are called, sit silently in her glistening sheet of holding ligaments  -as in Mom’s white shield fascia body. All hu(e)-mans and mammals have  a light corporeal self.

[2] It is such a relief to talk shop with men – or whatever engineering language they speak of applied mathematics – describing how life is organized..

[3] That said, notice how homonyms are used like reel/real; sometimes they stick an “A” in it –it keeps unfolding- not solidified, even though it sometimes seems that way.

[4] Samech is Teth’s ‘lust’, (Chesed’s enraptured emanation into a specific form) united alchemically to become Samech when married in heart’s hol(i) place.

The ouroboris eats his tail so take care in what you leave behind.