Dream sequence I had before awakening:
“I’m talking on the phone to a very pretty, almost sparkling blonde woman; I see her sitting back yet engaged with our conversation. She rests against a large tapestry pillow shared by L.D., the man, hugging it like a belly pillow up from the other side. Their bodies face in opposite directions.
A small boy, around age 2-3, sits/lies back to her side right playing quietly by himself with a small toy.
As we converse – she animatedly engaged with me, and not with the child, the child puts down his toy and crawls over to L.D, the man.
Our ‘conversation’ is impossible to ignore since she’s talking to me on speakerphone. L.D. the man is listening (to me) too.
Watching him and still apparently listening too, as the boy makes his way over the pillow aiming for the empty spot on his dad’s ‘side’, L.D.’s hand reaches out as if to guide protectively.
As the intimate couple’s heads share the pillow side-to-side – one set of shoulders is closer to the edge than the other.
In this case, her side is closest– and with that making a protected space for the little one to initially lie/sit safely; L.D.’s side is open. All this from the child’s perspective.
As Dad rests relaxes touching the sofa’s back – the space in front of him is free. A kid can be snuggled with Dad or feel dangerously exposed closer to the edge; while he’s still very young he ‘knows better’ already about heights- and ‘owies’ when you fall.
(Owies that at that age magically disappear with a kiss.)
The boy was really cute – at that very tender age when parents are still “G-d”; I loved his pajamas too- abstract hues of rich earth tones and with artistic orange highlights- looked like he was wearing art. “ End of dream.
The next day- I was educed to explore “Archangel Michael’s message” by an email for “free prophesying” I often ignore, I got the Tarot “Death” card. Lucky me. This is another releasing-what-no-longer-serves (Pluto energy in action) indicator.
(Usually I delete those email entreaties without opening – but not always, especially when I feel down or confused.)
Since then it’s been a little easier to shake L.D. (finally)-I tell him to go “get honest” usually does the trick and yet he twice gave me ‘laser eyes’. These are momentary but strong sensations of his gaze boring into me. Another time he “butterfly kissed” my eyeballs both at the same time.
I still have off and on, still several times a day a welling up of rapture sensation. I’m pretty sure these serotonin, oxytocin, and whatever hormone else, waves are stemming from my omentum; these disruptions too are steadying.
Maybe It’s like Kundalini is returning to her nest after being stuck out for a lifetime in a bubble (of excluding).
(When I first got “possessed”, the man’s cupid’s arrow first went into bottom of my heart – then into spleen before radiating up and out in my left upper chest. The spleen shares mesodermal tissue with the stomach and pancreas most directly; derived within the omentum- there is crosstalk – when one part loses power the other one is drawn into response instantly – like sponges communications. Being the seat of one’s adaptive immunity now recently activated, I feel better than ever. And, for me, these last few years I’ve been healthy. Usually I’m a bit of hypochondriac – a consequence of having a south node in Taurus – and the sixth house of ‘ill-ness’.)
Being hu(e)-man, I get pangs of bitterness that I had to have this as a dream come to me. I must confess I’ve resumed early ‘coursework’ at 420 University. (For many months, I’d graduated to T.A. status, visiting briefly, not avidly gleaning from my universe, in other words was smoking much less.)
Although I’m not generally unkind in my feelings towards another in my thoughts, a part of me says he’s a “cowardly chicken-shit”.
After what he said to me it’s lame not to have given me any verbal alleviation, other than to text – a week after our Reiki session/meeting happened, we were on ‘separate paths’; I guess he meant different – as in once intersected now diverging.
Huh, so there you have it.
Nonetheless Mashallah Habibi for all blessings that have been given me. The twin flame-like experience saved me when I needed it – and to guide me to my present.
It makes it easier to plan my next move as I further clear but “Ouch!” I’ve been looking at real estate.
(insert long episode of singing in tongues)
********************************************************************************** Ah, I feel better now.
That dream, one of several each disturbing in degree, was a few weeks ago.
Since I continue to be ‘haunted’ and now in the course of four years by not just L.D. but also by spirits from the plant and animal world which I ‘perceive’ viscerally throughout the year anyway- I decided to celebrate Halloween – not normally my favorite holiday.
Halloween is short for “All Hallows Eve”, when spirits are said to roam (and play make mischief)- when sun’s light is dimming towards shortest day solstice and leaves are falling.
For me with the veil “thin” anyway – why not just go with it?!
Heck, Invite them in – kind ones anyway. Like the spirits of our favorite ancestors, give homage. Contribute to your collective!
So, this year I decorated. I bought a couple hundred dollars (I’m on a fixed income, so this feels frivolous) worth of decorations for the outside –suspended wraiths and a giant spider’s web teeming with black creepy crawlies. The latter will no doubt be ‘real’ when I go take the decorations down- already I see spiders have landed there.
I have a witch and some contorting ghostly lights– as well some evilly laughing skulls clanking chains that are really creepy. I carved 3 pumpkins and put them on the step.
It occurred to me to as I invited spirits, perhaps I’d like to release some.
So I opened all the doors and drawers, as well a couple of windows and invited restless spirits that might have been locked away and unventilated and from which I’d been divorced from consciously of my waveform’s collective of home base cooped up during my coming to terms with my divorce for these past four years. Entities that might have been helpers at first, but now I bid to depart in peace. –Their departure lightens my spirit’s vessel. I don’t need them any more.
I did this and left them open for a couple of hours- it looked like a poltergeist went through; I gave opportunity for them to “play”, the cats got to explore everywhere! Until I was ‘triggered’ to close one up or needed to close a space or need to near the counter, I left them gaping – with all their disarray.
Then I smudged chanted and clapped and encouraged “Spirits be free! (Hallelujah)”. Doing so I 1) saw how much junk I’d collected especially in less tidy areas (of which there are many), got to see how much stuff I’m interacting with – including the dead spaces.
I hope to clear out some of those messes soon. Now I have a winter season’s bucket list of messes I can sort and tidy.
Before I could decorate and draw attention to my house, I had to wrestle with the candy perspective. After all I’m gifting away substances I generally regard as spiritual toxins; most ingredients in individually wrapped candy are chemically manufactured- usually GMO (sugars) or associated with “child labor” (chocolate). Candy is the epitome of Frankenfood anyway.
Nonetheless, I chose a few of my old favorites, they shall remain nameless – put them in mesh goody bags along with a small tumbled stone wrapped with a message of blessing.
(I’d purchased those stones three years ago but was then afraid to give them out – for what seemed obvious reasons at the time. I hope with the candy the stones won’t be mis-used!)
Being back in ‘420 University’ I’m also occasionally writing again. Otherwise I’m getting quite excited about horary astrology and about halfway through a pretty rigorous course. With horary-based astrology, I’m starting to see a world of marketable- non-client based possibilities.
We shall see what the future brings!
All Hallows day -Day of the Dead, is when it’s especially nice to honor our collective’s ancestors. Especially the ones that pierced the veil for us. Having the intention of honoring is enough, it’s really nice when you do something measurable and tangible in their name.
I plan to clear away decorations and make corn bread. We’ll see what else comes to me – I get to start somewhere with honoring All Hallows Eve and All Hallows as a tradition.
 Talking to someone on speakerphone used to feel particularly unnerving – not knowing if anyone else is listening besides the one I’m engaging. I used to think being put on speakerphone was rude –especially after holding those wonderful telephone receivers where the sound came in directed to your ear analogue (!)- but understand the value in being ones’ words being witnessed.
 As holographic images reflections which resonate with my inner psych(e) my mind is continuously ordering and processing entities of introduced or ‘learned’ images and sensations- even if randomly strung together, each element of the dream reflects my soul too.
I am ‘L.D.’, the glittering blonde, the child, the sofa and speakerphone as well as sense of possibility I might ‘fall’ off the edge if I don’t hone close to my ‘dad’ figure.
 See L.D. stories # 2-4- LD. The man said several words and phrases over our Reiki session before and after, which taken together pierced me with a ‘cupid’s arrow’. I’ve been “possessed” ever since.
 I also quit allergy conference club and obtaining CME – so giving up medical license and PLLC.
Listening and reading about “medicine” as it is practiced today, really makes me s’ick. Every time. So I followed my ‘3×5’ advice for tuning in and healing to what I want more of, and stopped tuning in to meetings at 7 AM and mouthing reviews of drug indications.
Right on time the universe gave me something new, different, and better than before – a British mundane astrology zoom meeting -astrology of lands and political bodies – at 11am every other Thursday.