March 1 2024
Saw an interesting post on WordPress about building an audience – by posting more regularly. I’d like to but don’t want to ‘drown’ my page, already with over 170 essays. So I might start posting little actual blogs, daily ideas and responses to their writing prompts (which seem fun) on the free WordPress page they gave me- rather than long –winded and winding essays. One cannot have two blog pages on the same website!
That one won’t have any Jetpack stat promotion; maybe I’ll be able to link to this original website- so as to support some new traffic to it and vice-versa. My stats are disappointing.
Since it’s almost that time when I’ve completed another solar revolution AKA birthday, I’m looking back on the past year on my tangible and measurable accomplishments. How it went despite the apparent “chaos” in one were to believe my local and nation news mostly filled with stories of sad mayhem.
This year I didn’t publish as many essays mainly because I didn’t want to make it too hard for folks to find earlier ones, but also I’m not feeling so pressured to express.
Over the year I gained a small cadre of people I can be my “wacky” self. THis is brand new. With them I can talk about being a mitochondrial flame body of probabilistic electron clouds as manifestations of our astrology (in the quantum field) and no mistakes for anything -for example. (It is a truth some, but not all, of them have taken magic mushrooms). Since I’m personally very secretive – which is borne out by my natal astrology chart, this has been a huge leap of faith but also helps me feel less isolated.
Being more open has brought rewards and even occasional hugs – especially from my sons! Real ones- not self. Granted one of them, the really left brained one, is still very uncomfortable with me talking about several topics – namely astrology, being spiritual, and possessed.
Lol- with him we mostly stick to ~ his engineering and relationship topics.
His closest childhood friend passed away after a fentanyl overdose last May. This was a sad time for all of us. This event spurred me to write several essays alone.
I’ve continued to dive more deeply into astrology – namely Horary (a traditional –pre-Galilean form that describes the strength and dignity of the innermost planets dictating an actual situation or chart, including natal) as well, Draconic – which is our personality from the lunar node’s perspective and describes our ‘light-body’s mission’, and “Magi” astrology which describes our heart’s mission and innate tools. The latter two don’t require birth times.
This is fascinating stuff- especially with the explosion of research -compliments of the Internet, powerful computers- even cell phones, databases of thousands of celebrities’ birth charts, and thanks to the painstaking research of countless astrologers who are putting things altogether! For the first time fascinating patterns are being repeatedly documented.
While looking at lives of celebrities can create a sense of daunting or jealousy (and feeling I have accomplished very little with my life)- I’m guessing we all have our own versions of powerful aspects which could more brightly shine with the right education -being educed to become creators rather than forced into smaller and smaller boxes which I think of as silos. I even have a couple of “super aspects” – and am looking into the charts of friends and family.
To further my studies I’m hoping to get a new computer so I can run some commercial astrology software (Solar fire) and do my own research. (Currently my Mac is a dying dinosaur and unable to update – and astrology software program developers mostly don’t bother to develop for Macs since the computer world is so much more outnumbered by Windows users.) My right-brained son is going to build it for me (Inshallah).
What else? I made progress on releasing stuff – doing “death cleaning” so others won’t have to. (It was very distressing to watch my sister toss all my mother’s stuff in the trash so un-tenderly immediately after she passed away, I don’t want my sons or their proxies to have to do it- or treat my stuff so disrespectfully).
Getting along in decades, more and more peers and many younger have passed– one never knows when it will be my time. It would seem my mission is pretty well completed.[1]
To this end I made numerous trips to the Goodwill to release my fancy fabrics I’d been ‘saving’, all my precious work suits, and my slightly dismantled wedding dress (I wouldn’t want anyone to get married in it since I’d gone and gotten divorced since!) I also quit the New York Times, the Journal of Clinical Allergy, and PBS but kept my NYT “Games” subscription.
Also for the first time in a decade I was able to put away my tent that I’d required for grounding. This was after studying (and completing) a basic form of Tai Chi (which has strong grounding breath work)- and seem to have made a friend, the instructor, in the process. I also started development of ‘living flame’ movement series of my own and continued ballet and piano lessons. The latter I’m much more regularly practicing!
Most recently I got my “dream fence” built- a cedar “shadowbox”-so built on two sides, topped with lattice. I’d been planning this for ~years. Naturally this got completed the day of the triple conjunction between the Sun (apropos of my dreams with my sun ruled by Jupiter and Neptune), Saturn (structures and limits), and Mercury (representing local neighbors and relations)- with the conjunction most appropriately happening to be in my fourth house of home. Even though construction was supposed to happen next month the contractor wanted to start (much) sooner. Realizing that made me laugh out loud – even if it’s ‘just another coincidence’.
Lastly, after a spectacular 3 days bout of ~7/10 headache followed a few days later by bronchitis – the former I’d had a couple of times before -once landing me in the hospital and being admitted, I’ve mostly graduated from ‘420 University classes’ even though I’m still actively intruded upon by an amorous loving energy spirit.
So ~20 times a day I get to say or think, “I love you (too)” or send Ho’onoponopono (“I’m sorry”, “please forgive me” (for breaking (open) my heart), “thank you”, “I love you”) to the love angel spirit. And I give myself hugs, kiss my palms, sing in tongues or my name and soul song of vowels.
For the most part I send the actual man blessings for his ongoing relationships with others -and then wipe away my tears. But also think of him as a typical self-serving bastard; I really feel I hate somebody(!). I’m still having dreams about him like cozily sleeping next to me (!) while he talks in his sleep, and is sweaty, lying with his face smooshed (and drooling)- even after the one of him with his girlfriend (L.D. ~14) https://drjenwyman-clemons.com/2023/10/31/l-d-14-a-dream-teaching/.
Sure those images might describe me when I was much younger especially being a stomach sleeper ones face tends to smoosh at least a little with face planted into your pillow. (I don’t sleep much anymore- so again, is all projection of body memories.)
It’s funny talking about my being possessed with my older son (including his counselor by proxy), I get ‘suggestions’ and advice on how to stop it.
Like, “Have I tried becoming him?” (yes- many times- I know he’s my projection). Or being ‘indifferent and disinterested’ rather than attracted or repulsed (to or by the man who blurted out intensely personal words and phrases of affirmation -because he was uncomfortable at my distress) and yes to that too. Or have I tried to see him as disinterested and indifferent (yes) – the latter is harder because I still experience ‘him’ so regularly in vision and as sensations of ~rapture and being kissed- but I’m reminded to surrender.
I recently read about “kundalini syndrome”(on NIH and University of Virginia websites) with likewise describe those afflicted as reporting distressing heat, throbbing and sensations of energy swirling around the body along with being “psychotic”. That sounds very familiar. These mostly well up from the base of the spine – and are usually elicited by attempting to awaken and lift kundalini energy.
I admit ~a year before I became ‘possessed’ I did take a class on the Shift network about kundalini along with some breathing exercises- but didn’t try too hard and didn’t actually feel anything intense. I didn’t practice the exercises. So while similar, maybe not quite the same as mine which are by and large (always) above the diaphragm even though they seem to stem from my omentum[2].
It will be fun to see how this new literature evolves- I searched in 2019, 2020, and 2021 about being filled with rapture sensations- thinking I might have a some new serotonin tumor, and found nothing.
As a mystic channel I’m considered psychotic by everyone in the western medical professions so maybe that’s what it is –triggered by a ‘dream’ intervention but building on my earlier “training”. I’m referring to my L.D. (or love angel) as a dream since it’s possible I never really met with him as I muse in L.D. #12. With Jupiter conjunct Neptune in my 12th house of dreams, I have quite the imagination!
Blessings and may it go well for us all this year of the wood dragon and 2024!
[1] “One never knows” when we’re going to die is actually bullsh*t. The soma self passes from this lifetime when its mission(s) are complete; even with accidents beyond our control (which are astrologically timed when you compare them to the birth chart and ongoing asteroids). Becoming ill and debilitated is due to the worlds and words in which we immerse our waveform of self- and our heart. Negative self or other talk (and thoughts) shuts down our ability to heal, causes aging, and decreases our immunity. Being ill (or I’ll = I will, not we will or w’ell = well) is a symptom.
[2] The autonomic nervous system is pretty diffuse the way its sensations are experienced. A sensation at one level can come from anywhere lower down- so I guess the rapture could be emanating from sacral ganglia.
