Meet my two friends,
Tzadi and Ayin
They look quite similar, but are in fact different by the ways they experience life in the house of images.
As expected, the results are not the same, not bad necessarily, just different.
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At first glance, they seem similar and it might seem there is equality in the amount of life attached to them, but no, that is not usually the case.
Consider when they were first in form, ‘man’ still thought life was according to G-d’s (as in Nature) plan of sorts; mortals had to align with his wishes. Life was experienced as “pasts” and lessons. People focused on maintaining what they had and honed skills for that spawning and breeding.
Then, words were written to preserve the form that G-d seemed to have for us, and scripts were written[1], from right to left – creating a spiral that envelopes the heart after breathing (the lung’s are between);[2]
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Then “witnessing” happened- and we learned to avoid mistakes made by others. So even if our heart wanted something, we might say ‘no’ to it…because, we ‘had’ to or at least that was our feeling at the time. We make difficult choices when a thing isn’t healthy – but also miss opportunity for integrity – meaning when both heart and mind are in correct alignment with our highest sense of self, who by preference I prefer to call G-d.
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By adjusting ourselves to conditions, hiding personal strengths; in that our brains flipped the mirrors to write ‘backwards’ – and now from left to right.
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Tzadi is shaped thusly – צ like a “y” on bent knees. His head is a Vau[3], ו , but connected to those beneath and around him – his shins are at-one-ment with the ground (and those around him). He reaches his arms and head out, just like Aleph; but doesn’t necessarily share his inner Yod [4]י,
like Aleph:
א[5]
Notice in this script, that Tzadi’s, צ, ‘feet’ stretch away, back from and under him. Tzadi knows what he wants and where he wants to go – but he is waiting for the right time…and when he feels invited. At the end of the word, literally, is when he will stand.
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Notice how צ’s arms are both about equal- in lifting and reaching upwards- he seeks his higher counsel- but all the while, his knees stay firmly laying; both feet helpless to do; like amputation. Tzadi can be passive, if you want to know the truth. But his is our Star, in Tarot, and mini-ster (star). He must well balance the emotions that flow through him, giving a little to this, and a little more over there. His efforts are not equal among others, because what he offers, you must be open for.
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His left what he’s received from his lineage; the right what he wishes for. You can decide now, which way he’s facing to you or away. You can choose on what to focus your will on.
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He will wait for G-d to bring it to him, meanwhile, he’ll learn to manage his emotions with tides and seasons. As Tzadi links Netzach to Yesod in the Holy Kabbalah and sits at the base of the tree – on the side of force- which emotions tend to give you.
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Make no mistake, he is the shimmering one, who stands very quietly in the foggy gloom but still you can see light coming from him. He’s a form of Celestine Prophesy.
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Like a glimmering twisting fishhook shiny under lit waters, Tzadi is the fishhook; he can bait you – too. He ‘knows’, because he ‘is’ mystery, and you become curious.
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Then before you know it, his hook is lodged quite deeply in your throat and your heart wants to ‘know’ much, much more!
He is great at starting cults (sometimes quite by accident).
Tzadi can ‘think’ he’s Binah[6]! I am sorry, but he is not that. He is a ‘man’ (with his own shofar) and subject to being fallible – especially if he keeps his (shin) ears[7] to the ground only, and not his ‘ears’ from heaven.
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At the beginning and middle of a word, he isn’t standing in or with his truths (yet); but very good at listening. When you meet him, you will be reminded of your power with what words he does share with you.
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Thank you Tzadi for being my friend of power of G-d in man. Though you don’t often share your truths as words with me, I know you accept there is beauty in me too (at least if you ‘consider’ me human- enough[8]).
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It is not easy to be Tzadi- his life is one of the Tzaddik -the humble one! Mais oui, we do need you!!!
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Now Ayin is too, a very fine fellow, he is shaped:
ע
At first glance, he looks much like his friend Tzadi,צ. His arms too are outreached, but if you look closely, you’ll notice his knees, are not touching the ground. One arm extends as his Vau, will, but from behind his stomach- not heart. His shins and calves are not grounded like his friend צ, but his feet are the part holding him up in his connection to ‘her’, our firmament.
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Our feet are the part of ourselves willing to do what it takes, to get a thing – even if that means bullying! Sadly that is an effect of not trusting the thing will come- is implied implicitly. Ayin will use his will, to actively go get.
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No mistake his rangy and persistent goat energy- he is his spirit of addiction. Perseverance and Fortitude are part of his condition. That is too why his Tarot card is the Devil. He will do anything for his particular named “love” feeling even if it keeps him in bondage.
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Ayin is our ‘eye’ that sees for us all that we are looking for. HIs eye can still make out structures, even in dim light.
These eyes – are also of Ain Sop Aur, and our desires for exquisite refinement: as we want to make our wishes and dreams, ever more real.
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While it is true Ayin are G-d’s eyes, more often they’re more human. As embodiment of our Nefesh animal selves, our eyes serve our own personal presence, independent of those around us. Being in balance is necessary to create one’s best work; there can be infinitely more coherence when you reflect the best parts of where you’re coming from[9].
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The organismal foundation of who we are, at our very core, is in both our name and in our body. It is OK, even healthy, to use your name as mantra.
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That is, saying your name out loud and slowly, when no one is listening to you – there are plenty of judges, why attract more?
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As that is balanced, with needs met, meaning necessary for healthy and productive existence – one’s actions need not focus on taking care of that thing.
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(By definition, need to care for a thing is a form of addiction – that which speaks to us, but the opposite, that which we must speak to or about, instead of what we love to do, for example is just as relevant.[10] )
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When ones needs are met, it’s easier to feel on[11]e has choices- in how she or he fulfills their addiction- essentially the ‘glee’ feeling as measured by the amount and intensity of dopamine in their daily life.
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The prism of your experience, in the moment can shift,
especially if you’re aspiring to your highest self and being.
When you allow your dreams’ messages, you’ll get back on track again and
Develop in your way materially, meaning including income, from the thing that has interested you. Isn’t that a win-win!?
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Accordingly, your manifestations adjust with you too, as in the “Law of Attraction”. Then, you are that much closer to the thing you’re after.
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Now Ayin, ע, is too almost like א if you switched him around- but again, this time he has no Yod, י, either above or below.
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His eyes are lead by Nun – as he is both Nun and Vau. Nun represents the realms of Death, and our sense of the finite. What feels separate to him (even though separation is illusion) , as he lounges around looking cool and nonchalant.
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His will is lead by what he sees, wants, and digests. This can feel a little bit brutal; but even here, his brutality is named and specific.
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When he gets going, he’s like a tetherball, and can first time, really clobber you. But remember, the ball’s line get smaller and smaller as the finite game goes on. While man is in his game, G-d is often not.
As he’s standing with his already feet bearing him, he can choose to go up or down.
With ע, he will just go out and get the thing, and work to get to his blissful heart center (or so he thinks).
That is what addictions do for us – that and the dopamine (not oxytocin though). Nor is there serotonin, or community, in ע’s cocktail.
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[My son now embodies this energy, and the entitlement that comes with it. He must manage his warrior energy, of which he has plenty. I wonder how long it will take until he’s more grateful though?]
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So now you have met two of my very special friends,
צ and ע
With important blessings and gifts to share with you.
I hope you enjoyed reading about them, as much as I had conjuring!
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Mashallah Habibi and all that you mean to me. Amen.
[1]This is mystic poetic license; I’m not sure the Rabbis would agree with me.
[2] That is opposite when writing left to right, we create a spiral with our heart protected, and comes breath later.
[3] Vau is Nail and Hook that pegs your back-body self, to what you will, as creator human.
[4] The little Yod, י, extending down on his left side – assuming you are looking at him directly.
[5] But then Aleph, just gives his handful of G-dself, and shares his spirit freely with everyone he crosses, without particular attachments. (Aries/Uranian energy). He doesn’t really care, where his ideas land on you.
Aleph is air and can be the lightest of changes; he is the Fool too absolutely in his oblivion – as his is also, Ox – entirely unyielding! Once a thing is in motion, the wheel will turn.
[6] Binah is in the Supernals; She is the Yoni and births all creations. Hers is the ‘city’ of dark and invisible energy pyramids with very sharp points; that do pop your bubbles of inclusivity! (make link)
[7] Shins can sense vibration quite efficiently- just lower vibrations than the ears do.
[8] I love my Orthodox Jewish friends who do try to be good Tzaddiks, …until one day they referred to their Palestinian brethren as “dogs”. With that depiction, they dehumanized a whole peoples. A peoples that are equal to them biologically. And as refined and ‘developed’ as they were living through history in accordance to their values. (Theirs is intolerant and a bit one-eyed.)
With the use of that word, dog, not only did they recreate Hitler’s elicitations with jingoist and polarizing propaganda, that referred to the Jews as such- speaking of them in those words, it made me realize how little they could thought of anyone not them.
Here are seeds for the basis of much distrust of Jews by Gentiles, another group exploited and kept as slaves by Jews historically. At least according to the older Babylonian Talmud which still informs much (Zionist) Jewish thought today; if one judges actions not words.
That was the last evening we, my Orthodox Jewish friends and I spent together. I am no Zionist; I do not believe G-d has favorites. Our at-one-ment with Him reflects our degree of willingness to be His servant. Usually we only summon Him in our moments of dire need, so in our being, our experience of praying is linked feeling desperate. So when he answers our prayers, we can fear him too.
[9] To reach that though you must cultivate ease and forgiveness when the thing you tried fails. Then you’ll get another inspiration, then another, and another!
[10]Of course then, that knowledge can be used as a weapon against you, at a later time – so it’s really best not to say anything about your true wishes, keeping your eyes (ע) open while your are working on things. So this reinforces the need to keep your tongue in ‘listening position’, at the roof of your mouth and silent.
[11] Glee is that giddy sense of power and unhealthy to practice; creates appetites and aversions – and more addictions.
