Answering a question such as this one, such as I’m doing now, encourages me to spend my time recalling a time when I felt shame, blame, or ashamed in some way wincing and humbling.
From my lack of effort or inattention someone’s expectations weren’t fulfilled.
Refocusing on negative events isn’t growth encouraging. Wincing is a squeezing and reductive reflective body of self’s memory circuit;
With our thoughts we enhance it, and shrink creative heart’s flame.
Feeling shamed doesn’t help us bloom.
Each of us have our own direction in life. Like flower blooming towards the sun’s highest point, we track what makes us bright.
If you had an epic failure, and you’re looking back on it now, please know, these are strong indications that cooking isn’t your forte. Stick to sous chef. Help someone else pull it off. You’ll have your experience to add to theirs.
Hopefully with your epic event you got to find out who really cares about you and some other silver lining.
And who saw you more objectively, on their terms- as object or widget (which didn’t complete a task). You don’t need their energy. They’re trying to harness and hold you to their line, not yours.
As far as having an epic failure, I can’t speak to having any even though I have hosted several parties and cooked dozens of holiday Christmas and Thanksgiving dinners myself.
Dozens, not hundreds.
I’ve so-so experience but know how to stay out of hot water – not trying anything brand new for important event. Keep it simple – family favorites, you’ll never go wrong!
A better question ‘Recall an epic event that empowered you?’.
In that case, it would be my wedding. To have scores of people focusing on us was a powerful experience. For the next three days my face ached from smiling so much.
I got to be a beautiful celebrated bride.
I spent ~a hundred hours planning with others for those few hours of intense celebration to come about. Truthfully it was both easy and fun way to apply my detailed mind. I don’t regret a minute of it.
Working full time, I got to plan venue, meals, music, service, pictures, registry, costumes, stationary and invitations, dancing lessons, etc.
Mostly my now ex- wanted me to do it. (BTW, that’s a sign he’s not really into sharing your vision). Wedding planning taught me a lot about his interests – he wasn’t into it. It took about a year to set up.
Pretty much everything went off as planned- in some ways literally, that shouldn’t have. Of course there were a couple of awkward ones, nothing too uncomfortable. It was a day and it was done.
It was a great party and literally perfect made through. In some ways it was excellent. I met many nice people who weren’t sick, which was rare for me then working as an ER doctor.
The only failure was leaving my bouquet of white gardenias in the wedding suite’s refrigerator after a wild nuptial’s night. Yup, was an omen. Our marriage didn’t warm but we had an epic adventure together.
