What is our soma self? The soma self is our mesoderm, the middle layer, which supports all of our conscious and unconscious efforts. This is the realm of connective cells and tissue – which “take orders” (modulate) from “superior” signals- autonomic, hormonal, and cortical responses to sensorium (our sensory fields of hearing, taste, touch, etc).

The mesodermal self constantly remodels to be more efficient in delivering what “mind” wants (and doesn’t want) to do. Regardless of outcomes- and how we feel about them; our mesoderm connects to every organ and remodels itself to facilitate our actions and decisions. To understand how it gets “programmed”, let’s backtrack a bit.

We are born into a collective of familiars which we call a “family”.

In early gestation (and before), our epigenetically modified DNA template unfolds as baby’s body grows in response to organ formation using mom’s diet and conditions.

We are literally formed by what she puts in her mouth – proteins, carbohydrates and fats – and also what comes out of it.

As it grows, the body utilizes mom’s smörgåsbord all the while bathed in her hormones- small protein signals which pass through the placenta and experiences vibrations from her activities.

From womb’s watery lair, baby ‘experiences’ voices, for example, as differences in vibrations with pitch and cadence as if underwater. What is being said by mom especially, and how, ‘programs’ the baby’s corpus by her resonant patterns in association with her responsive (and reactive) hormones.

While soma is immersed in sound, vibrations aren’t just discerned through the baby’s forming ears but also experienced in its body. (This is still true after birth.) Because sounds and sensations are not specifically associated, which comes later, neural pathways aren’t efficient -yet. Hence, a baby’s brain is mostly “gray matter” – unmyelinated.

The first voices baby’s soma ‘hears’ via its heart- the first and largest autonomic plexus to form organized blood vessels after the gut, are the mother’s and ‘father’s’ – as well as kin. These are the baby’s first environment.

Sounds moving through mom’s watery self pitches and amplitudes become associated with hormonal and neurotransmitter signals.

Mom’s vocal sounds are closest as her voice vibrates through her chest. Dad’s is deeper and more resonant but also somewhat more distant. Patterns emerge. Baby’s heart ‘hears’ all vibrations – consonants, vowels, and undertones- directly and through sharing inner eardrum’s mesenchyme- call it heart’s front row seat.

With dad’s voice, he radiates power and authority. See how mom scurries to make him happy! Baby ‘knows’ if her actions are tinged with fear or happy anticipation.

Baby’s heart experiences and ‘hears’ siblings’ higher pitches like distant choirs- if he or she has any.

As sounds become more defined and associated, each pattern of associations becomes reinforced by (mesenchymal) myelin-producing nerve cell bodies.

Baby hasn’t identified who is who visually.

While in utero, little is myelinated with a fatty insulating sheath which speed up signal relays and makes sensory relations ~permanent. That requires visual and tactile confirmation.
Myelination ‘stablizes’ associated symbols of ideas and actions – in order to become ~instantaneous and secure. In other words, practice makes perfect.

Mom shares her hormones with baby, including adrenaline. At the very least, adrenaline and noradrenaline – associated with excitement and glee, cause placental vasoconstriction – so a sense of diminished oxygen and increased CO2. So baby’s corpus will feel a “squeeze” when mom gets a jolt.

Likewise baby experiences mom’s well-being from serotonin when with her family and after a fatty meal, also disinhibitions from alcohol, stimulation from nicotine, and the “mini death” of orgasm (along with pressure and ‘pounding’ sensations during intercourse.)

Patterns build up, layer by layer. Over the nine months of gestation, soma picks the environment up – more and more clearly. Yet all is still unnamed and inarticulated. This is a state of confusion, not chaos.

For nine months, we are imprinted with her tenor. Then as we are birthed, breathe and feel open air on our skin – the world responds back to us.

After birth, this feeling with its collection of sensory stimuli, is associated with that sound and activity. All that was distant and obscure – becomes clear. No longer is there dissociation.

Naturally those activities mom and dad feel are “private” or “taboo”, will stay confused and liminal- such as intimate sexual relations. Still the body will have their memories and associations- and whether she enjoyed them.

At first, when we finally meet her face to face – she is ‘us’ embodied. We don’t know we’re different people, until she or someone else says so. We aren’t born looking into a mirror or comparing ourselves.
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During baby’s earliest months as an infant, ‘mom’ and her trusted surrogates meet our needs unconditionally – so she is first experienced as an extension of ourselves. While we are not sovereigns creating our world, the world seems to revolve around us so we can be forgiven for believing it. We are born ~relational beings, gradually “me” and “not me” becomes defined.

That is, in most cases. Adoption, being brought home to a completely different world, fractures the newborn from this early home environment. With separation from our linguistic womb, baby’s brain is forced to ‘re-wire’ and relearn.

Beyond our early local environment, soma is primarily programmed by three other groups: teachers, clergy, and doctors. Later I’d include the media (and for some, astrologers). Each group has their own version of conditioning, and each are profound.

Teachers, by the way they measure and guide or curtail waveforms successive interests; clergy by suggesting their path is the “best” or “only” way to a “higher power” (which I choose to call G-d) – so actively dividing from unity of their peers; and doctors by emphasizing on all the negatives of oneself. Putting us in an alien and unfriendly environment (and then having you remove clothes!) makes a waveform exquisitely suggestible – such as hospitals and offices are. We never come out of the doctors feeling well.

Media and astrologers are extensions of the ruling class – and always have been. Their languaging of ambitions and drives (Yang, Mars energy) are belittling and unpalatable. Men (and women) are taught these should be repressed. In addition to the slow ‘outer planets’ including Saturn and beyond are typically referred to as evil and malefic (~masculinizing).

While these (Neptune, Uranus, and Pluto) are powerful forces, harnessing them well is essential to one’s dreams, growth, and transformation.

(The sovereign “always” believes he’s right – and often refuses to change or admit culpability; to question or threaten him in the past, meant being ostracized, imprisoned or killed- each group of ‘teachers’ managed to exist, persist and thrive – as long as their works NEVER threatened the king.)

Meanwhile, the heart’s ‘perspective’ is mute. It can’t use words to express any environmental dissonance it senses. But it can make you notice it by being annoying – having skipped beats, racing and palpitations or otherwise affecting your vital signs and vitality.

Then you can choose to listen – by placing your hands over it. Stay with noticing for ~18 seconds (or more). Then say, “I love you” out loud three times and “I’m listening”. Try it! You’ll feel a difference.

Here’s a recent study from NPR about chimps acquiring language from mom:

https://doi.org/10.1371/journal.pbio.3003270