Are you holding a grudge? About?

I used to have a grudge about my upbringing. I felt that it had really limited my chances for success. And because of my attitude, which was reasonable, I didn’t do particularly well in school, but I did OK. I passed everything. But I always saw myself as being capable of so much more. I thought I was supposed to be a star (a common delusion of the first born).

My self-esteem was extremely low; I operated passively.

I knew that it was really important to forgive those shortcomings and realize that it was actually a blessing in disguise – it took me many years to get around to that idea, though.

Despite applying all of the trainings and teachings that I had received from any church programs and the Bible about forgiveness, the biggest inroad that I made with forgiving my parents was with obtaining my Reiki I certificate.

Seeing them as individual light beings that happen to have born me, but were otherwise not really into parenting – and that I was strong enough to do what I was supposed to do without their emotional support, was hugely liberating. And it was one of my ‘earthly tasks’ as well to heal it.

I can say that I made myself what I became mostly without or even in spite of them – because of the opportunities from our educational system.

that should be good news to Anyone else who feels that they have had a terrible or traumatic family situation that’s heartbreaking.

As an “n” of one, i can testify we can heal and begin to thrive. despite significant setbacks in life.

I also see the suppression and oppression of my “willful” behaviors as being just not ready to be expressed in any useful way. But they are now – now that my patience, empathy and compassion muscles are developed.

My self-esteem improved with a few trance sessions from HypnosisDownloads.com They have hundreds of recordings to choose from; many are really excellent.

The biggest healer though has been my ongoing experience of being “possessed” by a love daemon – or as I try to reframe it into my “soul retrieval”. This feels like an excruciating expansion at times. You can read all about that in my “L.D.” essays.