Chaos

When I was in high school, there was a lot of talk about chaos and entropy; how this was our- the world’s tendency. That is was nature’s tendency to become a disorganized and non-workable. Lots of my peers believe this – and use that excuse to be ruthless to those unlike them. ‘We’re all doomed anyway to disorder; I’m going to succeed – at all costs’

Chaos is experienced as a sensation of random disorder. Socially, this might be reproduced when all of our familiars are removed – and we feel we have no-thing. As if our lives are in Brownian motion – like paramecia playing bumper cars without ultimate aim and purposeless or gas molecules in space.

Step back though and you see there is some direction to the chaos – paramecia are ‘responding’ to ‘light’ and ‘sugar’; gas molecules expand towards warmth and reduced pressure. While a gas is in its container, work is being done on them by the delimiting surface.

While in transition, instead of work being done, energy is dissipated.

Nonetheless, with “chaos” nothing tangible is produced except for random exchanges of photons and electrons when they happen to collide.

And yet, if you were to focus on a single entity in its transition, it would have a starting and ending point. Eventually with equilibrium, each would be in a ‘new’ place.

Here’s a meme from Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/share/p/18BjMT1hVZ/

*

Coming from our state of nescient (innocent) confusion – mom’s dark womb we are born into an ~overwhelming sensory world. While some alignments have been made – such as this deep (muffled) voice, with that face, much or most is brand new like shapes, colors and textures. The surrounding can seem chaotic at first – so we bond with mom’s touch and eyes and focus on these.

In some cases though, we (our soma being) shuts down, guards, and only responds to symbols which make sense.

In my primary life of having my ‘needs’ met (designed for our soma creature’s comforts), I have ~no awareness of any outside world. This is akin to being in the bottom of a cozy ‘well’. While from my position I can ‘see’ a patch of sky with its changing hues – and faces, nothing is linked or associated. From the depths of the well, I receive empty buckets and water is removed as they are filled.

Our first experience of the outside world always seems chaotic. The world opens out to us slowly as “mom” brings us with her outside of her home’s confines and she is always nearby.

Here presence gives us reassurance as it seems there’s randomness coming from all sides with cars beeping and busy people. As we become acclimated, we learn this one’s going this way and that one’s going that way. They otherwise don’t concern us. We being to realize others have their own path and story – which we are not on.

*

At a new school, entering it for the first time is a chaotic experience which is intimidating. That’s why it’s nice to have some introductory night first – where a student gets to navigate at a slower pace, what will later become second nature as they go the paces through their new schedule.

Later, at first bell, students enter and go all different ways – some to lockers, some to homerooms. As they pass, some are loud, some are quiet; they might be in pairs or occasionally bumping. No two are the same even if they came from the same neighborhood (though seeing a familiar face is always nice and reassuring!).

Each student has their own schedule and place to be. Each has their own plan which will (hopefully) serve them in some way. We don’t all share them, especially in middle school. Some students step into lives of feelings, others into bootcamps; each person expresses more of him- or herself.

While it can seem as if the world is focused against us – as we hurry forward, that its instead holding us back and down, in reality there are people navigating ‘us’ as an obstacle to go over, under, or around.

They don’t “care” about you or me per se; they are fixed on their ‘plan’- unless we insist they attend to us.

This creates a new story. For in that ‘reaching out’, however we did it, with our voice, words or actions, we ‘force’ interplay. Cha os – with that we will ‘drink tea together’ – that is, our lineage will, in order to come to new resolution. And with that each will decide, whether the other is l’ove or not-l’ove. ( L’Ove is that which binds and supports our Orphic egg of self like swaddling- so can both enhance and limit us).

*

Chaos is different from being disorganized and confused, though it may look the same to an outsider. Being dis organ ized, everything is of us but not in its personal space. As we mature, we may find our disorganization stems from confusion and clutter. The latter is trash we can release. Things that are confused tend to stay that way until life brings us a “teacher” who with their perspective help us sort.

Even if we discard a thing we thought we didn’t need only to feel differently later, the universe has a way of bringing back what is most important.

All is Inshallah!