This is the story of how I met my love spirit daemon by a set of coincidences which helped catalyze my new sense of personhood followed by an astrologic consideration of the event.
just after my husband of 26 years asked for a divorce, I was understandably distraught and doing a lot of soul-searching.
During that time, I was scheduled to go to both a silent meditation retreat and take a “Guardians” mystery school class. I would learn about making holy water and protecting spaces over a long weekend.
At the last minute I found out that once I completed this particular training, I would make an oath to be “committed to them for the rest of my life”.
When i read it, i said “No F*cking Way !” – out loud – especially havning just come off of a long ~frustrating marriage. The last thing I was gonna do is commit myself to anyone or anything!
At that time a chill ran on my back and I’m thinking to the universe, “There’s no way you’re gonna do this to me!”
(Up until then, I had come to understand from my own set of experiences, that anything that I declared like that, always came true in one form or another.
Especially when it ‘popped’ out of me as this did.
I canceled my training and went to my retreat.
Meanwhile, a random doctor/chiropractor who I don’t know either directly or indirectly, left a voicemail message on my phone that he would like to meet. He said he wanted to chat because my card seemed interesting; he’d picked it up at the yoga studio. That was it.
And, as I wrote in my essay in Love Demon #0, chiropractors have a special place in my heart- I mostly didn’t like them, but because I have back issues, sometimes I go for adjustments. https://drjenwyman-clemons.com/2021/04/01/how-i-met-my-love-angel-l-d-0/
As I related in L.D. #0, we met twice. Each time for a couple of hours- another oddity. I was a little confused because I didn’t know why they really contacted me – part of me hoped they’d come up with some kind of idea of how we might work together; was he gonna offer me a job down the road?
At the end of the second meeting, the owner of the practice, who mostly listened to us bantering, said he was gonna make an appointment for Reiki with me. I thought, “OK” and said, “sure” not really believing him.
Because I didn’t actually have a practicing space anymore, he offered his office to do Reiki, but that didn’t feel right either. And truthfully, I didn’t trust myself alone with him.
I was happy about his interest though because I loved working and really missed it.
Otherwise, I didn’t think much about the appointment(s) focused as I was on all things relevant to my impending divorce.
It turned out that the day of the mutually agreed upon appointment ended up being the day of the class that I had canceled.
Before during and after, he said several strange things that set me off balance. Such as: “he’d dreamt of a woman about to kiss him from above who turned into Quan Yin and then Archangel Michael – naming my long term ‘guides’. I channeled phrases “he was a warrior for l’ove” – confirming a dream he’d had when he was younger. A warrior spirit told me he needed to ‘learn about anger management’.
That he’d “never hurt me” and was a “dime a dozen” – were inklings that startled me out of nowhere.
Finally at the very end, he said in a low gravelly voice that he was looking for “an intense and passionate relationship”…And that I “could do anything I wanted” about the fees which we hadn’t decided on- while he gazed with dilated pupils into my eyes.
At that point a (golden) shard of energy flew out of his eyes and into the bottom of my heart.
Over the next few days, sensations of intense exhilaration increased radiating into my spleen and then upwards. It was/is insistent. I was/am also flooded with sensations of rapture and ecstasy – though it was only his face touching me at first.I could feel his whiskers and smell his breath and sweat. Now it’s his sides. His spirit comes up from behind.
I wrote “Kisses” from events of passionate topsy-turvy kissing. It was and has been the strangest thing and not always pleasurable.
Because I was so engaged with this love spirit- unless I was directly with another person, I didn’t care about the details of divorcing and could barely focus on anything- though I managed to buy a house and move.
I did text, write, and finally tell him about my living experience.Visiting him the one time in person, I had an enormous surge of energy in my upper abdomen after I spoke. That had never happened before.
He doesn’t refuse or deny – nor confirm anything. But he’s ghosted and blocked me since.
And so it goes several times a day -for these last 7 years. His “ka” body, a twin flame phenomenon, infuses into my auric field. It hasn’t abated at all but become more stable.
Last year, I formally committed to myself and celebrated my second annual “Becoming One” ceremony a couple of weeks ago.
As a result of this experience, I have become more comfortable with ‘channeling’ and somewhat bizarrely singing in tongues; I published a huge body of essays, and actually got ~organized. All good stuff.
***
Astrologically, because I know we are probabilistic clouds of proton being and instruments of our astrology, I wanted to see how these “coincidences” happened.
Looking at the biwheel, Neptune, unseen spiritual being, had just dissolved (blown) my Pisces ego sun and mercury mind (and languages). As a result, I’d been gradually shifting into a new paradigm of understanding my world as a waveform of pure spirit energy pushing matter.
Transiting Uranus (the great awakener) sat both parallel and conjunct, so eclipsing, my south node. The south node is where we ‘lighten’ our lineage’s load – and is often characterized as release and loss.
Being in Taurus, these were of a tangible and sensual nature; in six, felt obligatory. With Uranus, in a particularly in a revolutionary and sudden manner- like a dog shaking off water.
That year, I ‘lost’ my mother and cat and now was divorcing; I was being “freed” up – another Uranus keyword. And opposing natal Neptune – shaking up my dreams.
Transiting ruler Venus was at zero Sag (the trusting fool’s degree –and in my first house of personality) – So open to new things.
Uranus was squaring (shaking up/ energizing) natal Venus – adding instability to my natal seventh house cusp of one-on-one relations.
Pluto had been going back and forth over my natal Mars – all year. Of all usual planets, Pluto is slowest and most thorough. Transforming everything I thought wanted by any means necessary – usually via relentless emotional attachment. With Pluto, everything about “x” transforms- “x” being whatever point he’s traversing. As boundless power, he one way or the other transforms conditions.
And with my divorce, and in a state of mental, emotional, and soon-to-be physical separation, I was stripped of everything I valued and open to be shifted.
All three planets were making perfect aspects -exact within one degree.
Because each takes ~a month or more to clear the natal position, the combination set a sustained stage and backdrop for Gaia’s situations. How they feel and unfold is described by more rapidly moving aspects amongst the personal planets which uniquely express each event’s form, flavor, and appearance; the moon provides specific timing to the minute.
As far as inner planet aspects in addition to the above-
-For the day I got from now on ~intrusively possessed -there were 42 aspects within 1 degree of perfection. Here’s a Jen-centric view with universe revolving around me:
On this day, the universe ‘gave me a huge sudden blessing’ with words and a look- Suggesting Jupiter(blessing), Saturn (words), Uranus (sudden) and Mars (the look) acutely and prominently were involved.
Saturn tests us and teaches us about status. Mars is what we want. Uranus is resonates with our version of (asexual) genius.
These lastingly, maybe ~permanently(?) affected my sun (ego and sense of self), moon (public image), and mercury (basic brain processes)–as I became ‘life-long’ committed to me. So more Saturn as Saturn condenses and forms contracts.
If there’s an “intense and passionate” relationship – Venus should be prominently figured. While not directly aspecting my sun, Venus was at zero Sag in my first house. I was ‘freely radiating/flowing with the beauty of higher visions and prospects’ in an unfocused but principled way.
Saturn was sextile to both my sun (conjunct Mercury) and ascendant – on their near midpoint joining the latter’s almost kazimi trine into a mini triangle. This provided me (months of) opportunities to have ~fearful, karmic, and limiting/concrete/bounded ideas affecting my personality, sovereignty and thoughts.
While my being from the event wasn’t materially shifted – I still looked like me on the outside-so wouldn’t expect Saturn karma lord to be acutely prominent with squares or trine as nothing actually changed in 3D.
Transiting Jupiter, purveyor of all things ‘expansive’, was transiting my natal Saturn – body of fixed beliefs. My beliefs, or ‘bee-leafs’ – ways I thought I needed to be in order to do my life’s choreography, were becoming expanded.
Good for me, transiting Jupiter was in its most congruent state – at home in Sagittarius; It felt like being torn from inside out and expanded at the same time.
The moon- responsible for close timing, was transiting my second house of personal values all day; I was reflecting my ‘true’ value-self – in Sagittarius- whether or not I felt I was embodying it.
For the last minutes of our appointment, she also topped off a complete kite made with a Thor’s hammer – a harsh figure of powerful aspects aptly named for its squares, semisquares, and sesquiquadrates involving transiting Mercury, the ascendant and North node (our light-body’s moon’s intimacy).
This added to the intense suddenness along with Vertex, a point of electrical ‘downloads’ – opposing, my sun/Mercury point.
The moon was parallel my Mars and Vertex – in alignment with what excites me and what I want- reflecting an aligned reflection of energy. Moon was also antiparallel, creating dynamic tension with natal love/hate Pluto.
Vertex is a fast-moving mathematical point based on our Ascendant/personality- what excites us, Vertex was opposed Mercury/sun, challenging/highlighting my Mercury thinking self, while semisquare (acutely irritating) intensely law-abiding Jupiter.
I was being shaken to my core. In addition to being conjunct, Pluto was parallel to mars (and then too Saturn); my sense of power and drive was in smithereens and eclipsed.
Here’s the chart for the end of the session- my sun was rising the whole time.
Here’s the universe’s perspective (inner wheel is the land; outer wheel is my birth chart):
My progressed chart for that day was notable among other things for progressed Venus at 0 Aries, was exactly trining transiting Venus at 0 Sag.
This was of the nature of a new relationship- indeed a blessing for my maturing self which progressed chart represents.
