A name not my own

Someone called me a name the other day. I had to say “La, La, La” to my self, “that’s not true, I’m me”. “Not some title they gave me”, -because I seemed to them like another someone.

It used to be that when that happened, I didn’t know how to lessen it from myself. Words stuck so tightly, they wound (as in past tense of wind?) up my head.

And then, my feelings take over. In reaction now, I feel upset- because I am -at least from at-one-ment’s stateliness.

I can’t focus on what I want or get done work. So you can see this is an evil of sorts. A part of living, that’s really not of me.

So, “La, La, La “,

“Take it (the naming) from me, is a thing I might pray for”.

Mashallah Habibi and all things given.

PS…and He reminded me to sing my soul song vowels (the vowels in full given name on birth record) very slowly, followed by my own full name out loud!

PSS. Since writing this I’ve been called a name that does resonate – “badass” and “eccentric”. “Badass” from another Jewish mystic; “Eccentric” by my friend and kitchen designer. (At least I’m still focused on a middle of sorts and not JUST tangential!)

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s