What does it mean to be a good person?

I always used to try to be a good person whatever that means, I was honest to the best of my ability, I was sincere, I tried to keep my word, I was authentic, I tried to be merciful whenever I could, I bit my tongue frequently, tried to follow the “Ten Commandments “- even though my parents were pretty awful to me growing up. Like many, I worked hard with little to show for it.

I fulfilled lots of modern day Christians’ definition of what a “good person” is.

And then my life became completely unraveled. People who ‘should ‘ have been at my side, abandoned me, and I got intrusively possessed by a love demon. It’s the last thing that really gets my goat! That’s not anything I ever deserved -and I feel like a pariah.

When people talk about giving selflessly and without expectation of return – I’ve come to realize that isn’t really realistic.

When you give yourself to something – you’re applying energy to a system, and you deserve to get something back.

No matter how your mind might want to override ‘My (unacknowledged) efforts are for the greater good’, AKA rationalization, your body and soma is going to feel resentful.

You must receive in return- tangibly, or you generate a bill from your subconscious. When I hear the phrase “selfless service”, I feel ugh.

one way or another you’re gonna get that same amount of attention: Enter ‘catastrophic illnesses’ with lots of attentive doctors visits.

Furthermore, all this volunteering, especially when we’re volunteering for sick people, broken people, homeless people etc is giving attention for being broken. And If there’s anything to the “law of attraction”, and it would seem so if you pay attention to the news or look around your neighborhoods, it seems we’re getting more of what we don’t want.

instead we should find ways to celebrate them while they’re whole.

when you celebrate something, your spirit lifts, as well as those around you.

Instead, we could be applying our efforts to social programs that enhance community, improve the general knowledge base, give more people a sense of competency that would actually have return for all the individuals involved.

And when you don’t get something back, your inner being feels martyred . That’s not healthy, happy, or holy!

So I’m not even a good person anymore since I’m not getting on any more sinking ships- nor paying for them.

Though I do still try to do all the things that I’ve always done -as I stated in the first paragraph.