Some souls come and make a huge splash,

others barely a ripple.

some seem to skip and surf

across difficult channels, yet land safely.

*

Your results are what the outside world sees,

a deeper self perhaps not.

you might never know their story

of how life informed their necessities.

*

What made them choose,

to use those props on their stages

ringed with patterns ritualized,

from an ancestor’s story.

*****

Our spirit comes into embodiment,

and for her earthly delights.

For love’s calling and Gaia-

with our sensations of life.

*

We are here to touch Her,

Taste and smell, and savor,

her sweet, sweet earth and

use that for our creations.

*

As well to do our part in caring

for her who makes us whole.  

It’s the last part that sucks I’ll grant you,

but our spirits are here to evolve.

*

You are in this moment sitting –

yes, are you not breathing?

Then you’re imperfect yes,

But whole too and perfect,

*

each and every one of you,

can always get even better too,

if you are willing, that is

To see yourself as whole first.

*

Yes, that does, take a lot of courage.

This is where, your totems and anchors

help to remind you there’s more to this moment ,

than what your senses are ‘telling’ you.

*****

Did you know, each little spirit you notice[1]

whether leaf, blade, or needle –

has a story it could tell you

about a question that’s puzzling you?

*

when you clear your mind of expectations and

let go of your shoulds and shouldn’ts

you can focus your will on what you really want-

and let the Tao show you the best way forward.

*****

I guess that was my blind spot,

an underlying (subconscious) need that drove me

to keep putting myself out there-

hoping to find love of myself and not just my titles.

*

I’m glad my need wasn’t used to manipulate me.

Or really maybe it was?!

Not everyone can see what lurks in a soul- but some can, and do exploit –

using needs as weapons, allegedly to give you opportunity.

*

when you do have the thing

and can see what he’ll (or she’ll) do to get it,

it takes great self-discipline,

not to use their lack as bait .

*

With my ex- it was so easy,

He showed exactly what it took to get his attention,

All I had to do was wound myself (once)

and he came running.

*

I did that twice in 26 years of marriage.

Injured myself accidentally…and his attention was on me, both times.

How seductive, how easy!

and yet, I might have become a basket case getting more ‘love’ that way.

*

For generosity, I heard

I should wear red for more presents,

so I tried it; and yes,

we had a delightful dinner or two.

*

Getting another bauble or trinket

Couldn’t replace his not loving me

or me not loving him, either. So,

My raw animal nature, myself with no title, stayed buried within me.

*****

When I wished assistance,

it was at his convenience ;

and still he moved like molasses.

WhyI have no idea. I know how that felt to me – very, very frustrating.

*

To be ignored, when I really could have used his helpfulness,

and not just (another) lecture.

About poor planning and timing

or how otherwise, his critiques did chide me.

*

He even asked me to make him feel guilty(!)-

said his mother did it successfully.

It never once worked with him I could see,

and he bad-mouthed her routinely.

*

so why’d I want to be like her?

Her scoldings seemed proven failure.

Plus, I didn’t really ‘like’ her – my MIL,

she was always undermining, and plying them with junk foods.

*****

Stories about archetypes[2]and power animals- 

Which hero won in the end, and the why’s of the parable

Resonate in us like totems;

Whether expressed or encoded in areas of silence.

*

Stories about the world around you encoded in myths and fables

are SO culturally important,

seems to be no mistake,

the white wing hopes to make them silenced.

*

To guide the world believing

Only they have the recipe, for

The most important ‘stories’ a child is to learn

is a special arrogance.

*

The ones they really need are about how to negotiate kindergarten.

Embody those well, and your way out ahead

of the kids locked in Sunday School.

Let your young consider, the laws and consequences of ‘energy – in motion’, emotions that don’t really serve YOU.

*******

The limbic and hypothalamic structures haved eveloped over millennia of human evolution – both from a geographical perspective as well as from neuroplasticity- like evolving in real time, albeit subtly.

there are objective variances in brain cluster distributions; which nuclear body groupings, from how their expression is groomed versus vilified; which behaviors get rewarded; which less tolerated. This manifests as epigenetic changes in our tissues and organs, and creates somatic body.

This part of the brain itself though, from various directions, is presented with picture of cartoon and drawing; it reminds me of a version of a tree, that seems to be represented, over and over again.

Imagine the manifestation of  a “perfect” brain, might be what we consider G-d. Make no mistake, from the outside it’s a tree of life as I see it.

In the prefrontal cortex, curled deep within the grey, all is measured balanced and valued, but disconnected from midbrain’s learning functionally – unless we choose to.

The midbrain, is where the subconscious emanates from- at least our experience of the thing. All the paths[3]present and encoded; refinements are epigenetic.[4]

These unbalanced cell nuclei clusters

will find a way of expression- no matter how strongly you methylate them.

Get activated like Bitcoins clicking together –

to clarify (archetypal) entity’s pictures, which (hopefully) with ease, emerge

little-by-little.

All right there too, are your brain’s ancient memories [5]

–that 80% you don’t use

unless to your conscience,

your environment is too confusing.[6]

*****

Each of us reflects our mitochondria’s path

on the planet

Our particular hologram’s evolution

a little bit differently.

*

Her path of survival –reflects her lineages’ dedication to 

what is cultivated

as worthy of inheritance–

all the while having her family and community to manage on top of her bleeding;

*

Unless you’re pregnant, then birthing might be the end of you.

That is the price we women may to pay for love.

Death for a few moments of pleasure-

Usually his not yours.

*****

Our history-

Reflects our biology- a 100 million years of surviving.  

Whatever it is She throws at us, on top of man’s burdens,

Some archetypes are quieted, as she responds to needs most pressing.[7]

*

As your consciousness,

drifts off guard,

protections drop and

your brain’s disarmed.

*

Our stories flash with glimpses of insight

whether you’re intentionally reposed

in listening position[8], with tongue pressed upwards,

or rudely awakened by dreams startling, shocking and frightening.

*

When they come on-line, or bust,

Your captives,

Those dreamed undesirable parts of your psyche,

Can sometimes scare the crap out of you!

*

(Make sure and write those dreams down. Consider that your personal homework in your school of self.

They will come true later, somehow or somewhere; consider them forewarning.

Should you choose to ignore them, they recur.

When the time is right, answers always come to you.)

*

Pondering them then from the supine position[9],

Listen for a message that’s right for you

– one helps loosen gummy expectations- thoughts and ideas

stuck in rut’s circuitous.

*

The “He said…”, “She saids…”, What ifs and whatnots[10]

Mirrors of our fears and issues unresolved –

*

why do you really care anyway

really,

what secondary gain

is your attention serving?

*

Take mental note…

thank them for tugging at your consciousness.  

Fwoosh, then let them float away abated.

If they’re important, you can write later.

*

Now return your noticing to the tip of your nose and breath[11].

Then as you gradually calm, center and ground yourself, be

Like a top slowing down until it gently topples-

Now you’re in a deeply relaxed condition.

*

Suggest that your soma flow effortlessly.

Like a breath of fresh air,

May you shift your awareness;

Envisioning the golden orb of your best possible outcome.

*

keep that in focus, as you undergo your trials.

let the thing go… over which you have no control.

Its needs no longer matter

or need be of your concern.

*

However waiting, our mercurial ‘top’ (too) easily starts again

Like a sentry on the ready,

maybe this time your tumult’s slowed

and keel a little heavier.

*

maybe next time you’ll spin even a little longer,

until it’s time, again, to lie down and see stars.

*****

When you are calm, centered, and grounded,

you tend to feel better –

being in your senses

slows down the turbulence-

*

Fear loves chaos, they are best buddies.

Even 10% improvement is nothing to sniff at!

When you feel happy- good,

notice, and practice what you did to get there. 

Serotonin, somatostatin, and like resonating similars,[12]

Loosen your body and support digestive thoroughness.

With metabolism free of tension as you know it,

Mineral corticoids aren’t needed in the moment.

*

Your kidneys don’t grieve so hard.

Best of all, luck happens,

as you seem to be in the right place at the right time,

synchronicities free us, from life’s imprisoning time lines.

*

The good news is, when 51% of your ideas and thoughts are in your love language, your Akashic record shifts to a new frequency and timeline with better and brighter outcomes! Given the (non-) nature of time and space, it has “already happened” when you make that commitment and you’re already being your new you, effortlessly!

******

Now, when love is involved

There are no rights or wrongs,

Even if in name only

Homage is homage.

*

Love can’t be stopped either and

All ‘rules’ get broken.

When thoughts are irresistible

echoing obsessions of Romeo and Juliet,

*

Sustained,

you probably want to do something-

before you are

desperate.

*

Don’t begrudge your soul’s mates past

They are here to teach you;

To help fill in your (of course tiny) blind spots

And make you a better you!

*

And you them too. (This is true, even if you’re not thanked heartily.)

Besides, holding grudges

Is like sludge to your spirit and smothers.

*

Your face tightens when you complain-

So Love and laugh to counteract

and enhance your resilience[13]!

Smile a little extra when you catch yourself in a frown or pouting.

*

Those loves gone by are human after all,

of flesh and bone

and mortal

but just as godly as you are.

*

Recall, they were once perfect for you

in some particular way,

until their other parts kicked in

and your values collided.

*

“That’s right my dear, just go there”,

you can say in your head.

Then start taking your own inventory and

don’t bad mouth[14]!

*

Let your lovers leave you

When you stop loving them or

You know they aren’t about you caring,

It’s healthy to let them go.

*

Even help them go with a little sweetness.

Let a vision of golden honey trail,

lead from your door to the street

guiding  your unhappy one, to a happier and better future[15];

*

You too will find someone even healthier and right for you

if that is what you wish for.

Water seeks it’s own level..

there’s one better for him (or ‘her’), too[16]

*

Even if it looks messy-

it’s going to be all right.

*****

*****

But most beings come as drips from streams, reflecting the pipe from which they came from. Their effects disappearing into nourishing soil; or seem to disappear like drying pools on the beach[17].

Right or wrong, what we leave behind us, one cannot ever know. No one “forgets” how you made him or her feel (though it can fade to an echo)[18]

*

How we go through life,

with splash, ripple, or skip,

Like a butterfly’s wings beating-

Your actions alight.

*

Sometimes you wouldn’t want to know

The pain and anguish in your wake, or

See the darkness you did create

By exercising your will untrammeled or without loving stewardship.

*

As ‘dark’ entity spirit, you’ll ‘have’ to make it right[19].

Ever wishing to return to source- in its increasingly refined coherence

Is what our spirit wants

and to be in at-one-ment.

*

Your soul needs to balance

your energy polarities,[20]in form of flesh.

You’ll “return” to fulfill destiny,

just as surely as living creatures shit.

*

How that looks like, on the continuum

is relative and depends on what you do now.

(Make your amends. Do it now than later!

*

One way or another

We will become more perfect – in His eyes anyway.

Maybe not in body –

yet we hear too, of those miracles daily.

*

(Overall[21]mine feels better these days – even if on the whole, I am softer and weaker. )

*****

Inshallah, may we all be happy and thriving!

Mashallah Habibi,

(I’m in love with him-my love angel, though that seems irrational..I don’t know him; so

the attraction was mine all along- projecting my wish for him!

Nonetheless, It was he who said the words entirely.)


[1]Our insights and intuitions are what we consider – con (with) sider (the stars).

[2]There must be at least 40 of them –4 Shekinahs, one in each direction. I wouldn’t want to meet them; they must be quite powerful. Heaven reflects them too.

[3]Accepting brain damage and deformity will limit the use of some versus other paths. those remaining will become stronger and more developed, significantly, as the spirit needs to express its special ‘medicine’ in its own special way.

[4]Though meditation and drugs- anything causing a change in gating of signals. Substances effectively shut down inhibitions and fear; allowing ‘dream’ channel to open- probably some tiny inter- maybe intra-cortical connections that haven’t been discovered. (I’m glad that psychedelics are being judiciously explored if only to show perception forms realities). 

[5]…and G-d willing, don’t have to! Wouldn’t it be easier(typical snake word) if we could just live like men with everything in order having a place for everything; the universe all named?   Wouldn’t it be nice if we agree to the same rules! But then we might turn brittle, blaming and bitter when things don’t work out so hot for us after all. Was what you built about control versus cultivating? 

[6]  Laws of duality, reciprocity, and ontogeny for starters- and yet the Golden Rule applied literally, is the same. 

[7]As a result, each culture has its particular gifts (and poison, Gift is the same word in German)- as seen from the outside others – from those who don’t have it; while you take yours for granted!

[8]Sitting up meditation with your tongue stuck to the roof of your mouth.

[9]Supine can help with surrendering; or be on your knees is like your amputating (your feet), and metaphor – your will expresses what you want by the community you keep and where you choose to go.

[10]Did you know, that gossip- naming, blaming or shaming, acts equally on the hologram of YOU- even if you’re just listening? All blessings and curses are recorded in your Akashic record – the hologram of self that weighs each breath, thought, and action experienced in life. This is what shapes and trains us into integrity and homeostasis. 

(at least make it look like it which is why, “fake it ‘til you make it” is a good first step).

[11]  How can yoga be “evil” ? Paying attention (yoking) to your bodies’ messages is NOT evil. Noticing your breath and sensations is central to yoga (in philosophy) and monastic traditions. For the Catholic Church to say yoga, as in noticing your breath is “evil,” seems disingenuous. Don’t you agree that is some bullshit?

[12]With S,R, ,M,N T and all vowels- that covers quite a bit  of resonance patterns that might be missing from your diet–with (truth) serum, sermon or mountain are examples to consider. (O and U are what you make of it). 

[13]Re-silience return to silence and silliness. 

[14]We all have dirty laundry – do you wish to have yours aired too? 

Why cast the first stone? Even then, avoid the urge to retaliate. It only amplifies discontent and frustration.

[15]If you’re pleasant enough about it, your ex- might be even be good to you (at least fair)!  This can feel like self-destruction. But try to be objective; things could always be worse!  

[16]Be assured, whatever imbalance is going on in you, is reciprocally out of resonance in them too. 

[17]Even then, did you know that your ‘water-being self’, what others feel, when they think about you, join an underground river that still moves with tides- and eventually will resurface?

[18]Thank you Maya Angelou! (RIP- now there’s a lady with Pluto prominent with Cancer!)

[19]That would be your choice! Forgiving is how we lighten. White reflects all the colors of coherent rainbow of pure light not split by a prism.

[20]Simultaneity is part of our subconscious reality.

[21]With this “rapture” experience, my back pain is nearly abated. Replaced with a warm tingly feeling – most of the time – especially when I remember I’m in the palm of His hand. 

(I’m glad of that – my need to take a lot of meds for my back is much improved, at least for now. And yet still I’m labeled indelibly, in my medical record)

By Dr. Jen Wyman-Clemons, MD

Dr. Wyman-Clemons treats the body, mind, emotions as well as spiritual wellness using tools described by established teachers and authors and her own experiences as she experiences an ongoing sense of (loving) energetic intrusion (possession) since 2019. She has ~thirty years of clinical experience as an allergy and internal medicine physician (ABAI, ABIM) has completed requirements to practice as a yoga teacher, USUI Reiki Master, and astrologer.

2 comments

  1. Thank you for posting. Your writings speak to my soul. Bring me much happiness in the times I feel like I’m a failure or at a complete loss.

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