A Plea for Modesty

This is my news reaction to taking down, yet another, prominent man- this time New York governor Coumo[1].

Now this guy is (a tad) imperious. He comes from a “Because I Can” (https://drjenwyman-clemons.com/2020/12/26/because-i-can/)

background, and may have royalty in his genes. Either way his family learned to govern and he has successfully done so for quite a long time! [2]

Nonetheless, this outing is because he’s stepped on toes. He voted against certain interests…and needed too to serve the greater good. He has a weakness, a fatal flaw[3]of sorts that gives leverage to those who ultimately choose where their money goes. 

His name is not ‘upper crust’ like Waldorf or DuPont. Nor is he from the families traditionally connected with prep schools like Exeter , Andover or Milton. Nor would he have been invited to participate with the Cotillion[4], at least until now. 

Historically his family would be actively blocked, let alone invited to live in several places, join clubs, or be accepted as a school mate, based on his name alone.

Maybe his ancestral family has had to consider needs, as well as wants.

With his title of governor, he finally gets to be part of ‘their’[5]parties and Galas. He gets to be driven and fed. Maybe still though, there’s a party with (perceived) royalty he’s heard of…but never been invited. Does his heart long for more opportunity? Does he dream that his life would be better, if he were born one of them?

With even faint insecurity, opportunity for carrot and stick exists.  Goaded by his lack of peace does he stub his toe and trip? 

Yet his family has been proving its fealty to ‘them’ –and doing the next right thing to be re-elected. They have been dedicated servant to the “little people”, just like Mayor Kate said, on “Sweet Home Alabama”[6], apparently for decades! 

Here’s the rub, the rich can see you lathering; OMG they get obsequiousness and deference. They bathe in flattery. To them, it’s a game to make you beg.

******

Our governor is a man still the same. What drives, gets hungry, for excitement and change. Or so one would hope, after all without that where’s the fun?

A man like in our example will also have the pick of the talent – it is natural for him, to choose smart, pretty, and sexy.  This is an irresistible combination. Having the best help like, Amanda Priestly (and Anna Wintour) does, for example, is quite prestigious indeed.

*****

In a room together hive minds engage (subconsciously), checking each other out[7]. This creates chemistries that attract, repel or weigh. Sometimes all three- as we are each like my shofar man, you see. 

Becoming aware of said sensations, one becomes conscious. In those moments we must choose- though automatic responses often lead.

Just like micro-aggressions, there are micro-affections that woman can do, to gain attention with their looks, glance and movements. Some of these can be very subtle, though effective. When behaviors go beyond being pretty and helpful, and engage personally- the slope gets slippery.

As empaths, women can see when a man is down or low. It is natural to try and ‘uplift’ him. Most of us are built that way. Powerful women (in their own way) too, like powerful men. It happens to be attractive. Every good narcissist needs an ‘uplifting’ helper. Governor Coumo’s probably surrounded by them.

So humans being human with repeat proximity[8], it’s natural course and the matter of time before his guard lets down. This is a curse to which he is subject when he his appetites drive him, but worse if they are fed (and stopped).

*******

Where I lease(ed) my healing practice, the woman who managed the building always wore a really low cut blouse. Every time I met with her, I noted she showed her significant cleavage-maybe five times. She was in her fifties.

At some point she warned me about a couple of men in the building. Ones that came on to her or touched her- she named them…and let me know to keep my doors locked at all times to avoid them! This is a public office space. What surprising (and sad) counsel to receive- nonetheless I kept it.

Maybe she invited their attention so she could warn us? There were several women running businesses in that building- and she was maternal. So I see the value of her treachery (and she was gossiping), but is it also not true that if I wore clothes like her, a guy might come on to me too?[9]

******

Just think, about 50 years ago unless forced to work, women stayed home. It was an exception to need to break that mould. Most women wore dresses that were shape obscuring,[10]though comfortable- and let you move freely[11]

About that time, in the early and mid ‘60s, my father would catcall to women whose anatomy was revealing. I was so embarrassed to be in the car with him when he’d roll down his window to whistle. He’d not miss an opportunity to let a pretty woman know exactly what he thought as he passed by her jogging or walking. He made sure they knew he’d noticed! We lived in an upscale neighborhood too, no doubt word got around.

That’s him making judgments. It expressed his standard of what is beautiful to him, at least for me to see and hear. So at the same time made me want to emulate her- to be what he considered attractive. I did want his attention too.

Sure his comments discomfited (bugged) me, but what was I to do? Stop doing (the one) thing that gave me time with him? He was flat out not stopping his attentions on those women.

Ugh, it was conflicting.

We had many conversations about this…then he’d light his cigar and puff out the window. ‘This is my car and I’m the driver’…’it’s your choice to come’.

*****

Seeing a beautiful “ass” or “breast” is a distraction[12]– at least for ‘healthy’ males[13].  Breasts are beautiful and Asses are sexy.

Nearly all of us have unconscious memory of being at the breast –those pictures are stored[14][15]deep in our subconscious. Incontrovertibly associated with the experience of unconditional love and feeling nurtured.

Humans have ancestral vision of what beauty looks like, they don’t “need” reminding. When form or movement has beauty, the eye will be drawn to it. That’s Law- whether your blinders are “on” is your story[16].

How much increase in visual stimulation and learning has there been since I was a girl with my father? Then, life wasn’t inundated with pictures of sexy beautiful women, other than a few girlie magazines[17]. There was no skin on TV; you had to go to the dangerous “Combat Zone”, or similarly seedy place, a dose of porn . 

Today you almost can’t watch a show without seeing something obviously sexy or ‘flawlessly beautiful’. As we inundate ourselves with “fake” beauty and perfection, people become accustomed to delusion- like they expect it all the time. It’s easy to feel entitled.

This exposure requires men to evolve- and maybe I’m going out on a limb here, not in a good way.

To ‘learn’ to ignore beauty is a form of chronic repression. Otherwise one risks being persecuted, literally. This generates hormones of fear, and an epigenetic fingerprint- that will crimp reproductive forces for future generations, at least in some people.

We may not know the “hows” of epigenetics; and as my love angel would say, not everything must be proved. We do have the foundations of that proof with known observations and studies of genome-wide transcriptional (GWAT) changes-seen with changes in mammalian behaviors (becoming more abnormal) and reproductive rates (dropping), to external stressors. This is really old news[18]– the “new immuno-biology” just proves it, again.

Guys with true sex afflictions – addictions and perversions[19], are (or were) rare. Usually significant aberrancy is less than 7-8% of the population. Any single given trait is much lower than that. Focusing on them though is both misleading and unnecessary; it increases the likelihood of future events happening. Most assaults are opportunistic.

But back to our governor working those long nights during crises, which these days are never-ending. In these situations, maybe it’s not hard to slip, though I doubt he’s as innocent as Al Franken. It’s true too, he might even be the type to get cocky and think someone owes him.

Maybe, though I doubt it, he’s like my father-in-law in his 70s, who says he can’t go out without getting aroused from seeing all the women in Lycra or wearing see-through. With these outfits, there is no denying the shape of the body under it. 

[20][21]

No, you have to earn love, beauty, and respect with your deeds and kindness. Not with magical thinking that when you see beauty, you can take or buy it. The deepest beauty lies within.

To be unable to see beauty in the plain is a huge loss for our collective.

Did you ever see a woman glow with her baby? She will earn that glow, trust me, and then some; getting there was easy.

With our demand for a sexless response to sexy visions, we are shifting the gene pool in our collective to favoring and selecting men (and the deep inner “yang” part of women) to have less passion and responsiveness[22]. Essentially, we are asking this part of ourselves to be blind and castrated, if not feign behaviors and live lies. This immodesty may be a problem opposite to our friend the governor, but also serves similarly. 

That we insist on immodesty as “healthy” is absurd. This is the magnification of a few skewed voices that are amplified loudly. So please don’t blame the tofu – for making men like quiches. (Nor is it completely fair to blame the chemicals, either though they are a means to the same end).

I ask you, how does this not create a generation of minions? Ask the governor; after all, he’s had experiences of his own.

I hope that I am wrong.

Mashallah Habibi; thanks for what I’ve been given.


[1]I know I’ve sure heard his name for a long time, just like Trump’s. Oh yeah, he’s “royalty” and has entourage. I bet he has fun too! Or did anyway, until covid came along. I bet he got to sample some pretty special caviar too, lucky duck. 

[2][2]I can’t believe a state would have one man governing it for 19 years, but so I read! That’s the same amount of time as Putin has had Russia! Think of the ‘machines’ he’s created.

[3]Don’t we all have one – what’s yours?

[4]There are fraternities (meaning this loosely) of prep schools that draw from the debutante pool– National League of Junior Cotillions. You should go look them up. Pictures are revealing in their fair features and whiteness. Though I won’t disagree with their mission statement, (especially about etiquette, by Jesus, we are missing that (!) in our treatment of each other; although unearned deference would be a “no” for me.) even though their mission serves a particular class.

[5]The same “them” that Donald Trump wants to be part of but won’t be – ever.

[6]No less a New York democrat-hmmm what a coincidence, it’s like it was predicted, or was it already a pattern?

[7]The mother wound rings easily, as well as belittling fathers.

[8]In this Mike Pence is 100% correct! There is wisdom in avoiding the private tête-à-tête.

[9]…and no, for the record, the dress I wore to visit my love angel (who is apparently very angry with me) had a nice portrait collar.

[10]Pants leave little to the imagination. Bring back mystery!

[11]At least I always thought so, and dresses are efficient for going to the bathroom. Women take 2 ½ times longer than men to go pee. When I was a resident and really busy, always rushing meals, I sewed several midi-length dresses to wear. They were comfortable under my doctor’s coat, saved time peeing, and I could ‘run’ in them.

[12]Distractions work against our will to create.

[13]Let’s say, their testosterone is over 400, receptors are still functioning, and physiology is responsive. 

[14]Newborns see a few inches in front of them…guess what they see first most to imprint with, that’s right the nipple and the breast!

[15]Nipple is important too – as a round red ring with central protrusion, it shares geometries with spinning quasar (generating a disk of energy rotating around orthogonal forces like a totem pole jutting from the earth)- depicted in 2-d as circle and dot (the, also the symbol for sun, a candle looking head on, our foveas amidst the macula, and a couple of others. (I just thought that was cool to notice-they are all so important!) 

[16]Now add alcohol, stir and you have A Problem. Like that, “VWaaah!”, your blinders are off and lost!

[17]I saw my first (and only) hardcore girlie magazine when I was nine. It was a Hustler production. I’d gone off to pee during a road trip with my mother. The magazine, which I read quickly as it was strewn under the bush where I was squatting (I was an obsessive reader), had an especially vivid scene – in words, of sex between two women. 

Reading those words, which stayed long etched in my mind, made me a little tingly. I’d never before heard of that kind of activity, which seemed quite pleasurable for the participants! It was pleasure for its own sake though; no possibility of creating any baby. Part of the gift of incarnating is to honor our sexual natures. Otherwise why would we be erogenous? If not to learn to manage it too.

The centerfold seemed primitive and ugly. Nothing felt sexy to me about vaginas; I knew where babies came from!

And what in that story is grounds for becoming like Ted Bundy – supposedly driven crazy by similar? Was it the perception around him from his peers, or in his church- his herd, of woman’s innate “evilness”, or something else more twisted?

It wasn’t just those magazines that made him a monster!

[18]The rodent experiments of John B Calhoun were seminal. He showed that when you continued feeding rats with no natural competition for food, but kept the environment constant, that initially there would be a burst in population, then as crowding continued was a rise in general savagery, mother’s abandoning nests, homosexuality and other signs of dis-ease. Is this what we’re doing with Golden Rice? Keeping everyone fed with no place to go?

[19]The Mystery School (based on Egyptian and Persian knowledge of Sacred Laws) would say these deviants, especially those who perpetrate sexual crimes against children, should be put to death. The New Testament gives them three times of trying to reform them, but then sentence is the same. This is just- for the evil of darkening another’s path quite so profoundly affects many generations. 

It’s certainly fairer than “random death” which happens all too often.

Keeping someone in chronic isolated incarceration is a form of torture. This humiliation serves the punishers and does not reform but creates lots of warranted resentment.

[20]It’s sad for me to go into a store, like Zara and ‘24’, and see nothing but plastic nearly see-through clothing with no durability! Think of the sweatshops where they were made. Conditions are so poor, sometimes they work in lock-down –to keep those clothing cheap. 

Consider too, the microplastics shedding every time you wash it…turning to nanoplastics later and which imbed in the food chain.

Over time, these affect the fluid dynamics and function of cell membranes.

[21]It’s my curse too, to be able to sense little brown fingers running the sewing machines while touching the garments. (May their lives have blessings).

[22]The rates of autism-spectrum behaviors are rising; is it a surprise that engineers of all stripes with reduced emotional IQs, measure as a group, very highly on the autism spectrum (like 70%)? 

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