Dearest Little One,
I am so sorry your family of origin, your mother and father, were unwilling or unable to take care of you. That seems very sad to me. I too, had parents who were unable to properly care for me. Childhoods can be brutal and hard, which is so painful and unfair. This philosophy I’m sharing has served me well despite feeling abandoned and nearly crushed in my spirit.
Please know you are loved. You are so loved. Know you are loved by many ancestors, even hundreds, whose dream, sometimes an only dream, were that one day you would be born! They want you to know they are there, but only when you ask, to assist you with strength, courage, and resilience as well as many other intelligences that are particular to your own family lineage. May they serve only your highest and greatest good serving our planet Gaia!
While parents are taken from us by illness, drugs, and other events over which we have no control, there are those in your deep lineage who love and send you blessings.
You are in exactly the right place, right now.
Please know there can be love in all things of nature – the rhythms of the seasons, a favorite meal, the warmth of a bath, the joys of a puppy. Objects created by one’s own hands can always embody the pleasures of creating beauty. Loving others as ourselves creates unlimited energy.
These experiences bind us to material form and root us to living on earth despite its pain.
Take care to honor your meals.
Every crumb of food you eat loves you and wants nothing more than to be on your plate. Remember to thank it for nourishing you. Happy food, especially ’right’ plants grown in the ‘right’ place and tended with care, nourishes most satisfyingly. While happy food supports every molecule of your being to heal well and support your own greatest good, even ‘sad’ food – overly processed and genetically modified, can support you when you thank it.
Digestion is much better when we are grateful for what we have received, chew slowly, and be quiet without electronics!
Find too that there is G-d in the coherence of love and beauty. As an exercise, notice beauty in each step you take. Notice the beauty of the sky, the birds, the plants, and even in the dirt. All is creation for your eyes to see, your ears to hear, your nose to smell, and your hands to touch gently. Listen quietly next time you see a little animal or creature. Notice it carefully and imagine living on this earth from its perspective! When you have done this, listen to your own thoughts and suggestions.
Especially listen to the suggestions you make for others. For we all are mirrors of each other- all of our good and also our rough spots, imperfections, and dis-ease. We can learn from every situation and everyone. Actions always cause reactions. Actions spread ripples to all others we touch.
We only see what is within us already, even if that mirror is deep and buried. Sometimes the best advice we could ever receive, we tell others! So listen very carefully to what you advise – it is the voice of your own higher guardian self.
For this reason, “YOUR opinion of me… is none of MY business!” Judgments reflect especially on those who would make them.
If you are addicted, as that also can be a reason to live, it will also kill you prematurely. Illness is the manifestation of “I will”, or I’ll-ness (as opposed to the converse- “we will” or we’ll-ness.
When you are ready to release that from your being, go to a 12-Step program, get your DNA-activated, or get Reiki. Get your horoscope done! At least those worked for me. No one can create happiness for another nor is that anyone’s responsibility. Happiness is sourced from within you but only when you decide you’re ready. Your outside world, your friends and ‘family’, reflect your inside world.
Make a little notebook of poems, sayings, psalms, and pictures you love, especially those you have found and been given, so on days that seem dark and frightening, you can recall your blessings and ‘light’. Those dark days always pass, when we are patient. Learn how to meditate. Sing the songs of your grandmother’s childhoods to strengthen your connection to your lineages. Important microbiome is in her pickles too.
While we all create in this world with our words and deeds, we often forget that, in the end, we are the only ones who can walk our paths towards light and love. That makes Life much easier (and more fun)!
“When the teacher is ready, the student will come” and also, “when the student is ready, the teacher will come.” Work really hard to do your best!
As you bless your food, give and receive blessings to everyone and everything in your worldly environment, you will come to know the G-d of your understanding*. You will heal and thrive – no matter where you are! I promise!
The “random walk” path of physics predicts that ‘any thought directed at another being, for good or for bad, is an arrow that eventually comes back to oneself’ or by extension, one’s lineage including one’s children. In other words, what goes around, comes around. Sometimes we must live through Karma to find the gold within each of us. Karma is a bitch and/or a blessing. Polish your diamond within.
Lastly, no one ever has the right to take any part of your innocence or private being without your permission. Doing so, is a great wrong. One day they will be completely weighed for any wrongs they made to your being. The Light of Judgment, or pure Coherence of Spirit, is intensely bright!
Evil can be defined as that which, ‘takes light away from another’. While we are all made of the Divine, release from your life and walk away from those who consistently and carelessly treat you with indifference, unkindness, or are otherwise mean-spirited. Many injustices have been done in the name of tribalism. Leave those who would take beauty and happiness from you- to lessen their own sense of insignificance. Release these people from your emotional being without guilt or shame.
Forgive yourself, without forgetting, for the role you played in your mutual drama. For we can always ‘learn’ good things from our most difficult lessons, even those that seem painful and unfair. There are no mistakes or accidents, just ‘collisions’.
With tender love from one who also walked in darkness as a child,.
Ms. (Dr.) Jennifer
* “Finding a G-d of your own understanding” is a central tenet of the Twelve Step programs and has saved countless lives from addictions.