here’s a sequence about how universe has granted me this time-line to get to where I am now with the help of my love-daemon Angel and my ordinary reality son.
Sorry to be so hesitant to share – but these were difficult readings all around.
First I looked at the relationship I am having with my son which is currently estranged- (now for about 2 years almost – started off and on after divorce 6+ years ago).
My rose was black and white – cartoonish. There were no fine details and a few jagged thorns. Didn’t have much aroma or at all. My son’s was elegant peachy apricot with fine edges; very elegant, no thorns. I asked him about us. He said he ‘sees the white rose and the black one ‘can’t unsee’ the ‘black one’. (I was miserable in my marriage and drank a lot of wine and spanked him and used a ferocious voice once – when he was in utero.)
On the previous rose reading Sam’s was coral with thorns. then the stem was broken and bent – but healed (with scar). Facing me it became white with pink edges and fragrant. ‘needs witnessing; rare nudges’ (he’s 30 this year).
As the reading went on, my rose, initially bright cheerful marigold, turned to muddy gray, purple/bluish. coming up between ‘porous stones’. Looks bereft and drooping. my frame was plain but tooled. “needs water”.
On the meadow he said I “enjoyed hurting” him. I sad and said I was sorry. Was given by guide a book – “follow the book”, then shows me tendus in all directions. (Stands on one leg while the right leg points in all directions) – ‘keep standing leg connected- despite entreaties to ‘go’ in different directions’.
About a week later, my sister actually texted me that all her sad memories are of me ‘hurting her’ and ‘enjoying’ it. (I do remember as a very young child being in awe she was soo placid while our mother screamed and yelled- I got spanked almost daily. I used to see if she was understanding stuff – as I felt I had been very aware and verbal even as an infant. She sat like a little Yoda.
I would do stuff like that -tease her, but she never responded. So I stopped (I thought); I gave up and thought she was dumb. After being ripped away from father, dog, home, and dolls – kidnapped by an unstable mom, we were moved 3000 miles away from Marblehead. She became really interested in money – and has great successes. She is a shamanic healer and a whiz at numbers!
Sis and I got separated by me becoming a runaway and placed in foster care when I was 13. We didn’t co-habitate after that. Our relationship seems to be thawing at last.
*
The next time I asked about G – the love daemon guy. This is the third rose reading for him. The first time, 6 years ago, our partially open red roses overlapped- leaving both centers open.
The second one, in class, his was huge deep red almost black floribunda – few thorns; mine that time was pink with frilly edge – then it turned into an acacia bright reddish pink- with green. His frame was black sharp and spiky. He was snappy.
This time, my rose was pink-ish and delicate. His was black and holding a sword. He was fending me off and wearing a mask. My big white rose had tendrils extending towards him in multiple directions. He flails to keep me away. (at the beginning of my “possession”, during the first two years- it has been 6+, I did contact him by card, visit, and left voice mail messages; he never responded to anything (like 6 times). I sent him fewer over the years for very specific reasons. informational only.
On the meadow, guide brings him fending “demons”. At the end, He is accompanied by his (?ex- or real) wife, and son. when I met him, he was single/divorced). I said, immediately, “I’m not sharing”.
After I asked him why he was still so persistent, (he really still is in my aura – though it isn’t intrusive necessarily – more just like there. But does remind me several times a day to say ‘I love you’ out loud, etc…holding me at night….)
was shown that ‘paths have pressure sensors – being monitored’. Skipping down a ~Hawaiian path to see sunset -be careful not to bear down too hard. Might get sensor stuck – springs lose their sprung – gone.
He was wearing a rough patchwork of colors. Red, orange, green, blue, black. no purple. There was a little tuft of pure silvery white emanating from his left side of head. Patch edges were jagged -no real pattern; not at all unpleasing, just not connected or in any design. In a previous dream I had of him (I’ve had several), his son was wearing the same very saturated colors in a beautiful almost Mondrian-like paisley pattern.
Lastly, I did another reading – his rose was red, in bud; sepals back. it was fragrant. He offered it to me – and I just crushed it. The stem was ~watery air and had no substance.
( I do have Venus and Uranus both squaring my nodes- and opposing each other; I’ve known since I was 19, I have no idea how to do relationships- which is why I’ve been working on them now; father sexualized both me and sis. With mom, we were always afterthoughts. My horoscope, for years said, born march4, you lost one or both of parents at a young age….- which figuratively fit.) At 19 I ‘turned it (my idea of relationships with men) over’ to G-d; said ‘I’d leave it up to him’. He did ‘reward’ me with a decent man and good provider, but one with whom I never could converse with! Though yes, we are still friends. Ironically, we’ve had our best conversations since the divorce was finalized.)
Sara Wiseman’s response:
So much pain. I’m sorry for what you’ve experienced. Estrangement is not new, but it has a new name. Decades ago, people left to go to another country or even town, and were never heard from again. The nuclear family has been an experiment from about 1950 to 1965, that really did not work. We need more connections to get through the trauma of ancestral wounds, and we do not have these available to us.
I do not like G as a guide, and feel a lot of alarm bells go off whenever you mention this guide. I would see if you can ask him to leave, or if you can ask another guide to force him to leave. I am not sure you can get further when you are under the influence of G. I’m certain you will resist this, but that is what I clearly see and feel. That association is not healthy.
As for your son… that will take a long time. Work on your healing. Consider him as a person who has immigrated from Europe to Australia generations ago, and let him go in peace. Who knows what releasing will bring? But it will certainly bring more than holding or hoping. I would guess the estrangement fad will either become more pronounced and common in society, or it will lose steam and people will come back in 10 years and want to make amends… but for now, all you can take care of is you. Feeling the grief, letting him go.
JW
Thank you!
Please know too, that as a Pisces with Venus in Aquarius, I’m an air flower myself.
Funny I’ve been thinking a lot lately about air flowers like orchids- my favorite flower.
Until this last sequence of integration period with ‘G’, (naming makes LD more real- but how else shall I call it?-this apparition? I’m not much of a lesbian, always preferred men. This ‘thing’ likes to kiss and make out. and has a rough beard with his eyes. How many zany men do you know- who like a little color? He’s a Leo.
Naming anyone or thing, more often said, spoken, or written about -gets stronger. Being in rapture from the inside out for 6 years! I’ve written over a dozen 3000 essays analyzing this. lol. No matter what the word is – mind focuses- you didn’t even put it in quotes. (his name))
As for my son, I trust he is in his column of light. What else can I do; he’s an adult. I don’t hold his record. It’s for me to hope he aims for his highest and greatest good – with decisions. He can serve all Gaia too in his own way. (He’s more than triple Virgo- Gaia’s service, make-it-done kind). He’s in the palm of G-d’s hand and has angels to guide him.
