A blurb about having vertigo

Vertigo is really humbling. I had it a few years ago. The first time was coming from a plunge in cold water -into a hot room at my favorite Korean bath spa. The room spun so rapidly I thought I would fall. Fortunately then, it lasted a few seconds.

The summer before I got divorced, I had it again and it lasted a couple of weeks, though was mild.

With vertigo, everything you normally do, is off balance. Move your head a little, the room spins as if it is falling. Eyes beat from side-to-side as if you’re on a perpetual teacup ride.

After a few days, I couldn’t help but hum, Carole King’s song about the “earth moves under my feet, I feel the sky tumbling down. I feel my heart start trembling…”. Lol, I was having some palpitations too.

With vertigo, perceptions are off and the world seems unreal.

When I’m off balance my wave form dissolves, from being its usually upright pillar I tend to bend low. 

This time even my arms seemed less coordinated! Boo, that wasn’t fun at all.

Good thing there was only mild nausea but still I couldn’t stomach much. (Maybe my Gimel was acting up, you know how the camel likes to vomit for attention).

Seven or more days after being on a long airplane ride and immersed in crowds, I’m pretty sure it was Covid-related. Meanwhile my sister-in-law got the million dollar work up (CT, MRI, Echo-all negative) for a more intense version. She got the (so far only) treatment too, Meclizine an anti-histamine. Helps with calming. (Histamine is our alertness neurotransmitter). I chose my Boiron pills for allergy (homeopathic) and took B-12.

Though I can’t be sure it was Covid-related, as I prefer not measuring – with a test that is – there is really no need, I’m going to listen to my body and assume it’s transmissible. And I still wear a mask all the time -unless I “forget” (which has happened) as I’m immersed in the unmasked these days.

 Wish I didn’t mistrust the doctors so! Self-diagnosis is a trap for hubris. Thankfully it’s ~ resolved and not my new baseline.

In my world of no mistakes or accidents but new opportunities for my wave form to consider and learn from, I learned to again slow down. 

And to do only things essential and necessary -like clean out the kitty box- but without my usual brisk efficiency.

With vertigo, I notice I must focus very closely on the connection between ground and feet – and let my shins lead me-

Shin, as in the Hebrew letter ש corresponding to our essential ‘fire’, too seems relevant here. As having a balanced Shin ש is really helpful – shins do like to stay on the straight and narrow – relative to our ankles and knees. For more on Shin, see this essay.

No mistake either, Shin’s path on the tree of life, is the same as on my body.

Humbled, I get sweeter- which In particular helped me deal with a certain problem less defensively.

(Ah, another goal unfolds, good thing September (sun in Virgo’s house) is “challenge” season!).

.

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