Rats! A mini-saga.

Back in May after my furnace was being serviced, the technician mentioned that there were rat droppings. He showed me pictures of their evidence. Feces were scattered around and on the furnace.

Having dealt quite one-on-one with rats before at a previous property, I didn’t waste a moment calling an exterminator. I called the one I’d used previously. His firm had caught my previous rats-but left me to clean their mess which was a disgusting task.

He showed up on time and looked the part. He was slim and not very tall with fine rattish features having a pointy nose and dark brown eyes. He’d been doing his job for a several years- and said he~liked it ok.  

After he suited up in his Tyvek-like white space suit, and looked around in the dark – seeking areas of stray light that might indicate an opening, he came back with his diagnosis. He thought I probably had two or three. He offered to do an exclusion and rat trap setting for $450 which seemed a bit high, but hell, I don’t want them- nor do I want to crawl around, so I said “yes” to it and signed on-line.

At his next visit a few days later, he belly-crawled over to the light leak and sealed up the single entrance point he’d found giving critters access from under my porch. (He’d showed me their gnawing marks on the first visit). He also laid several traps – including in the garage where my auto mechanic found a rat’s nest sitting on my carburetor a few years before.

Two weeks later he came back to check. All of the traps were empty; meaning hadn’t caught any rats, and were still set. The peanut butter was (and is) intact.

He said his firm would contact me for a follow up approximately a month after the initial visit- implying a couple of weeks from then. And then I could choose whether or not to have an ongoing maintenance plan.

This date came went- and then another week. I didn’t hear back. And since I’m don’t chase after people who aren’t interested (other than love daemon the man who I long ago gave up on), I figured he was either had enough business, didn’t like my property or maybe didn’t like me. I am naturally quite judgmental and paranoid, so I called some others – to get three bids.

*

The second company who touted being ecologically friendly didn’t actually give me a time frame or even a day for scheduling the appointment. They left it up at ‘we’ll get back to you’ when the inspector is “free”- it might be that Friday or a week later.

Instead, they called me at the last minute and said the inspector would like to come earlier than our scheduled window (which we didn’t have). I said OK and next thing I know he’s on my front porch.

He was tall, large, and ~good-looking. You could say he was a bit imposing, but quite pleasant- not intimidating. After donning his white suit – and respirator (the first guy maybe had worn a dust mask), he descended into the furnace space to the part he could stand in comfortably.

As I looked in from ground level, I could see pink insulation streaming from the rafters. A strong odor of rat urine and feces wafted up. This was new. It seemed my condition had worsened – despite the traps and exclusion!

He told me it looked “really bad” as he surveyed the area by flashlight and later showed me pictures of multiple areas of vapor black barrier covered in feces and crystalized urine. He showed me all the areas where feces “were fresh” – they looked plump and juicy (but he didn’t actually squish it to see if it was soft).

He then said he had to check my attic crawl space to see if they were up there. (I do occasionally hear a pitter-patter on the roof, but no rustling.)

I protested that I had no access to the area -it had been closed in by a previous homeowner, he insisted he wanted to take a look for any covered wall openings. Then he would “sit down with me and talk numbers”- I would need a pen and paper.

Seeing as the visit was unexpected and last minute, I hadn’t actually tidied- my undies and sports gear were still hanging -airing after a sweaty ballet class.  

Nonetheless having a very overly, flexible spine (not quite spineless but almost), I said’ fine’.

 Just then, he then asked me do I “believe in spirits?” which was an odd question to say the least.

Instead of asking him “why”, and eliciting any story from him, I mentioned my ongoing Love Daemon spirit ‘ghost story’. At this point 7 years down the road, I’m not actually talking much about it – but, well, he asked so I told him.

We trudged upstairs and he looked everywhere, even at my undies. As we stood amongst a gentle mess of draped clothing, he tried to tell me I had an attic access point. (Maybe I do- but I sure can’t find one!)

Luckily, he didn’t touch my stuff, but there they hung- testimony to my being a bit of a slob. Ugh- how embarrassing! Thank goodness I’d made my bed!

Afterwards, he complimented me on my “lovely home” as he waltzed towards the dining area.

Finally, we sat down– he at the end or head, depending on how you look at it. I had my pen and pad of paper and he starts reeling off numbers like ”well, we’ll need to have 3 to $5000 to replace the insulation, and another 3 to $5000 for exclusion involving “trenching” which he explained to me was digging mesh around the inside perimeter to a depth of 6 inches and applying anti-pheromone blocker which was included.(I’d just had the insulation and vapor barrier replaced less than a year before. Ouch!)

He couldn’t narrow it down any further – it depended on what I opted to do.

When I pointed out that another company had offered to pack poison into an inside wall outlet supposedly to limit them from chewing their way up the wall joists and into my inaccessible attic, I asked why wouldn’t he put the mesh outside- to keep them from having access at all? How would mesh on the inside keep them from entering the walls which he’d suggested as likely.

He said the pheromone blocker would be enough. It would last “forever”. And his installation wouldn’t “be visible from the outside of the house”.

Then he continued, another 3-$5000 to replace the vapor barrier and sanitize. This they would remove and replace the same day.

When I mentioned I’d seen rats popping in and out of mounds in the front yard of a townhouse while I was living in WA DC, and “how could we be sure we got them all before the barrier was reset- they might be living in burrows”, He said, “we’ll stand there, catch and kill them”. At this point I almost laughed out loud but kept a straight face. (My spine was strengthening.)

And lastly, for another $600, he would put in a “locking door” to the crawl space which he said needed to be done because the rats are “Gonna get in there next” since we blocked their access from under the porch.

Mind you, I don’t store veggies or have anything yummy down there – just a few spiders and dirt!

Access to my crawlspace is limited already. Putting a door over it the way he described would block guys from switching out the furnace if it ever be needed. “Well, they can just break it down…” was his answer. (But how about bringing in a “new one” I wondered, but didn’t bother to say aloud. By now my bullshit meter was fully operational.) The way he described it made no sense and he could not show me pictures that were relevant.

He gave me nothing in writing and couldn’t firm up his numbers but was willing to “work with me”- but didn’t tell me more than that though I asked. This he stated over and over again. (WTF does he really mean I wondered?)

After an hour had passed and he hadn’t come up with anything more forthcoming, I stood up- and still he chatted-ignoring my body language of being done with him. I sat down. This happened two more times. He wouldn’t leave –meanwhile he said, “his son would really like you”. My inner eyes rolled- Id’ heard that before.)

After complimenting me on my great camera- as it was sitting right there on its tripod next to him (I’d been taking photos of my garden earlier that morning), the topic switched to L.D.

Since he wasn’t going anywhere, I mentioned the guy was a Leo, he said, “Oh yeah, he meant what he said- Leo’s speak from their heart” (which I already knew); “he’ll come around” …(Sure, but in how many years?! According to my sister, I have a terminal disease after she ‘remote viewed my auric body’ – so my days apparently are numbered!)

Because I’d mentioned astrology, and karmic meetings, he wanted me to do his chart (Lol, I am not making this up.) He gave me his birth data which he just happened to have memorized and then was genuinely surprised when I didn’t just get up to go off into my office to explore it while he just sat there!

I didn’t ask him about whether he believed in spirits or why he’d asked as I didn’t want to get much further entangled.

Finally, after 2 hours had passed, I told him straight up I wouldn’t be making any decisions until my third bid came in the following week; he was disappointed but said he’d call me that day to learn of my decision.

And then I added, “even though we had a lovely conversation, I might not say “yes” to your proposal”. (I was standing as tall as I could.)

Finally, he went away but not before imploring me to look at his chart.

That day came – and he called as promised – but it was 9:00 in the morning! My third inspector wasn’t due for hours.

But I told him “no” anyway based on the fact the company had mislead me about the appointment time (which put me in a position of being distressed – and hence more suggestible and subject to pressure tactics).

I carefully worded without lecturing, that ‘we can always expand our knowledge of what constitutes truth’ without getting into details of what that might mean for either of us.  

(Such as him taking advantage of an irrationally anxious homeowner eager to remove rats to the point of being fraudulent (I’d become a mini-expert on trenching – and no, it wasn’t indicated nor correct the way he’d described); using the guise of inspector to case my house; or using my sympathies of him being a single father to suggest he might want further access to me.)

But admitted that we did have many exact aspects (as I’d predicted)– without mentioning most of them were charged and not complementary; he was Jupiterian as I suspected.

He insisted he wanted to call me again – and ‘to make sure they do the work! I said’. I reassured him I would. Spine softened again, I said, ‘sure you can call to chat – but no more than quarterly’.

We left things at that. I still have his number – and he has mine.

*

The third inspector came – on time as scheduled cheerful and smiling just like the others. His inspection was also “free”. He was very helpful and knowledgeable.

Wearing his white suit, he crawled around and checked the first guy’s work – which he thought was satisfactory. After mentioning a little of my tale- and the recommendations of the second inspector, he rolled his eyes and said “no way!”. The insulation was fine – it had probably just fallen down on its own.

He’d replace the vapor barrier for $1100 – reflecting the square-footage of my house’s footprint- and de-contaminate and pheromone block for another $300.

He found a tiny area which might almost fit a critter so laid some exclusion mesh down – which he did without my asking him. He even put down 2 more traps filled with a different substance.

He asked if I was Jewish first as apparently they had pork in them; I said, “no”-While I have a mezzuzah, I’m just a Hebrew mystic -which I don’t think meant anything to him.

And he didn’t think my fruit garden had much to do with ongoing issues – it was most likely my neighbors’ dog poop which is everywhere around me.  He was really helpful.

But he had his own version of red flag(s).

1. The picture on the email confirming him was not him at all. And 2) he did way more that I’d ever ask.

No one has gone “above and beyond” for me before. I wonder: Is guilt plaguing him? Has he done wrong to someone sharing my looks or demographic that he now wants to make up? Thinking over his many fine lines and somewhat chiseled hardened features along with his single left earring hole, I figured maybe he’s in a witness protection program of sorts. And no, I don’t need the drama! So, I thanked him for his help and insights and let him go.

*

After all was said and done, I ordered a suit of my own, exclusion mesh and all the rest of paraphernalia – including a bait trap (which is still sitting in my garage). 2 weeks after the third guy came, I checked his traps. They were empty and still loaded. I still hadn’t descended inside.

I relaxed a little and worked on installing additional exclusion using copper mesh and steel wool as had been recommended.

But then a couple of days ago while harvesting blueberries, I found a dead maimed rat. It was lying on its side with half its face ripped off. I could see its sharp little razor teeth on the opposite jaw.There was an area of smooth redness just above the top of his skull – as if he’d been almost caught in a trap- and been grazed as it snapped.

It reminded me of when my cat got (presumably) run over. He had no apparent injuries other than a smooth red area on his forehead. But I knew something was really wrong when he gradually went into respiratory distress. Turned out he had a ruptured diaphragm! (which we did get fixed right away and he lived for another decade or so.)

This rat was buzzing with flies so it must have been there for a day or so. Yet, I’d harvested blueberries the day before and he wasn’t there!  He also hadn’t been otherwise opened or eviscerated the way a cat might leave him. (The same cat I mentioned above once ate a rat in three bites according to my ex- who was watching – first the head, then crunch the body and tail.)

I couldn’t help but feel a little sad for the little guy – and couldn’t just toss him in the trash. So, I buried him with a blessing in a quiet spot by my rhododendron.

I puzzled as to the how and why he came to be there.

It was time to check the other traps and see if he’d sprung one but escaped – but then he would have had to get out of my crawl space which is ~sealed off.

After checking the garage – where the traps still stand at the ready, I donned my suit and mask and carefully made my way down. I said “Hi” to Lucy the spider who gets larger every time I visit.

Going down into the space, the aroma was faint. I can see no new droppings; the damage is the same.

There is no evidence inspector no. 1’s traps had anything to do with this rat’s demise. I’m left with a mystery- how was he wounded and how did he get there? (Could he have been planted?)

Repairs now don’t seem too urgent- including the vapor barrier, which hardly has anything on it. From the furnace, I wiped the turds away – to make sure they don’t recur before I decide to replace anything. Sure, whomever I hire will sanitize and put down pheromone block even though there’s nothing active to draw them in.

The exclusions seem to be working.

The door is sound, and although there are some (new?) gnaw marks – they barely scratch any surface. I have time- and am going to monitor the situation.

Going forward, I’ll probably go with company no. 1, who has since called me a couple of times.

(Maybe I also should re-install my motion detector and add a couple of cameras. I put my new ADT sign out and activated my keypad which hadn’t been reprogrammed since I’d switched internet providers. Inspector 2 sat looking while the display periodically flashed it was off-line.)

*****

 Rats are one of Chinese astrology’s revered or at least very respected creatures- unlike “DOG” (me) which they don’t like as much. Rats are smart and very social. Their memories are long and complex. Rat never gives up because of his need to gnaw..he has to keep his teeth from cutting him.

(Personally, I wonder if some of us hu(e)-mans don’t have a little rodent tooth tendencies -given our love of chewing and crunching; I know my dentist disagrees- “teeth don’t grow” once they’re in place- so he says. I think they should repeat some observatory experiments.)

If something smells fun or delicious, Rat is naturally curious and going to check it out. But around man and man’s smells, they’re basically conservative – “neophobic” is the term used.They aren’t anxious to investigate new things.

They are prolific reproducers of multiple babies even though their diet can be pretty ~gross. Their noses smell yummy stuff very efficiently. Even if you bring them miles away, they’ll return if you’ve got stored roots or grains.

(My neighborhood is loaded. In addition to apples and fruit, they love chicken sh*t and dog poop, according to inspector no.3. All four of my neighbors have 2 or more dogs; one has four. Feces are everywhere- and at least a couple don’t regularly pick up.)

In a pinch they’ll even eat their babies.

Sometimes I wonder if we put them into captivity and fed them lovely diet of grain, fruit and nuts, if they wouldn’t be tasty on a skewer, this they ‘assure’ me (telepathically), is a thing they hope for!

In time, I’ll append an update.