Edited version of “the Accident”

‘Just found out this morning, my ex- got into a terrible bike traffic accident-

after flying 20 feet – “like Superman”, crash landed.

He broke both kneecaps,

got a big gash on his shin,

and dislocated his dominant hand ring finger.[1]

I burst into tears

To tell you truth,

I continue to cry throughout the day – and most of all last night. I even send him unsolicited advice that’s off the wall (from my genie of self – the intuitive one)[2].

I really hope he gets well soon.

Why should this be? He should mean no-thing to mean and yet he clearly does!

I can’t imagine the suddenness of the shift, to his animal corpus – and yet I can- having seen long segments already of each aspect of his accident in movies and shows already. (Though my inner eyes hadn’t recently been feeding.)

It was typical, almost routine – for him to bike home at night from his work at the hospital. True, it was after dark and had off and on been raining; it had been a long day[3]. It would be rare to be out for most riders- and easy to miss – which may be what happened here.

I’ll say no more other than the less-ons will be shifting metamorphically.

As wave form beings manifesting the energies of our astrology -as the world “works” on us, an astrological portrait of the event – with my ex-, is as could be expected – telling for motivation of the circumstance.

While sun has been transiting his fifth house of romance, fun, and children, and conjunct Pluto, his heart in Aries- and fire signs, got stimulated to be moved likewise. Being an Aries heart – his heart emanates like a crow – from top of toes up- at least once in a while.

We’d been talking about our kids each, how his mother was beginning to “look like a chair” , kids feuding over the family dog, and whether he quit and maybe move in with his girlfriend (she wanted that).

We’d spoken for about an hour – after my text prompted him. Asteroid “Jennifer” is transiting his third house of communications – in intense Scorpio, conjunct his Neptune (and confusion)[4]– and exactly on my Ascendant. (I swear, I am not making this up).

Pluto is the borer- energy of power and persistence – or effects can be like bomb- to get experience of love. was energizing (In square to) his heart.

Mercury – conscious intelligence, and energy of worrying, was focused on confusing (backlit by Neptune) asteroid Jennifer in 3 Mercury’s house of communications. Uranus, his genie (genius, when you use it) is conjunct Asc, (Whim’s man), is focused on healing as sun conjuncts asteroid Nemesis the next day (in house of love and pleasure).

In his case, Mars (and his Sun) are both in Aries where they rule and exalt. (As a surgeon, he might be described as archetype for Arian energy – and going after what he wants.) In Quintile to Uranus conjunct Ascendant – where his IAM’s perception of self as ‘genius’ (which he is often called). Gives him a direct portal of energetic insight for what he wants to heal (Transiting Chiron, wound- healer, is midway between his Mars and Sun in 8.)

(I thought Mars would be involved, and was/is, with Uranus for being sudden. But Pluto is the destroyer- underlies Mars’ ‘lower’ vibrations (and what Mars is a higher vibration of).

This is a sudden life changing event- as shattered kneecaps tend to be.  Likely actually happened exactly when the moon trined his Ascendant (and Uranus) – at 9:27- making it “easy” to shift his perception of self, suddenly.

Pluto’s energy takes away all the superfluous[5] –anything getting in the way of soul’s growth. Is ruthless and persistent, will deepen our stoop-ed too- until we are burrowing (for love and earth’s treasures- and will defend them until death- and “love is blind” (from being like mole) or so I’ve heard).

Pluto – which the sun had just passed 2 days before, meaning had been clarifying his perceptions for a while. Is bi-quintile – Venus’s aspect, to his Uranus conjunct Ascendant within a couple of degrees. In his first house-making his perceptions – and had been for a few days already.

Pluto moves very slowly – and goes backwards and forwards sometimes as it has been- at@ 28 Capricorn for quite a while now. The sun passes through getting backlit metaphorically.

So you could say, his heart had been ‘processing ’.( Which manifest by transiting Mercury conjunct transiting moon).

As beings immersed in time – we live life moment to moment. The sun rises, and sets. The astrological wheel is a twenty four hour clock. It is only a clock – not a wheal. (not raised or inflated by any of Aleph’s breath. )

Astrology doesn’t make reality.

reflections, feelings, and images of what (Venus in sextile) his (subconscious) heart, the Sun, wants (MArs) is going to be expanded in six month, be expanded when Jupiter -coming up to his Mars first, – transiting Chiron – our wounded healer – who teaches how to persist despite a severe wound, (and gives us tools to heal similar wounds in others) at the midpoint between his Sun and Moon. Transiting Chiron, is directly opposing, as in putting in the limelight, on his natal Pluto, also in his first house. (He is a reconstructive surgeon.) Healing of soul’s will, might be a theme.

In this case clarifying (Pluto’s final result) what heart wants –such as be a ‘radio’ announcer with Aquarius in 6- could also operate distantly – like on the da Vinci robot (which he did pretty frequently).  He does have a pleasant voice, now that I recall. But everything about him pleasant, will his Venus in ten. He could have been a model at one time- conjunct his Mid-Coelum (what he’s known for as a status)- and final expression of our Cheth (from day to day).

With transiting moon (feelings) and Mercury, both conjunct in 5 and in trine to natal mercury, thinking about circumstances and moving (natal Mercury in 9) was much easier than usual. Natal Mercury is focused on what he wants (opposite Eros).

He has Capricorn on his 5^th cusp, his recreations are traditional and a bit inflexible- even though all exhibit mastery. At least with Capricorn on the cusp- immersions in those atmospheres never fails to lift him. For a Martian (with his 8^th house Aries heart and Mars) he loves energetic contact sports. (He is much more shamanic than me –connects subconsciously to ‘true’ nature).

The impetus for my initial text was the dissolution of divorce document (Pluto – dissolution with Saturn) the latter in his 6^th house of chores (and healing). We were scheduled to go to the courthouse the next day, a Friday to do what needed be done.

Whenever I heard he was biking at night, I’d say something like “safe riding” ..or more – go through the checklist. But last night I didn’t. I stopped referring to it (I didn’t want “more” of it) a long time ago- and when he became more and more resolute riding his bike was what he was going to do, defiantly (Uranus trait).

And what he said, disquieted.  For the first time, I sensed he felt bad for me in his own way. He verbalized, he wanted to ‘make it right’- especially since he was having the ‘life of his dreams’, whilst[6] I am still sitting al(l)-one with a love-daemon phantom (and cats Violet and Luna).

***

Biking is a form of good exercise- keeps up our Martian energy- mitochondria’s verve. My ex- has a slew of ‘good’ reasons for what otherwise might feel vaguely chore-like at times- especially the late night rides, which he did often.

(Both natal moon (image and reflection- and our light body’s responsiveness to others) and Saturn- his sense of mastery and authority, are in Pisces 1 degree + min, of each other. In other words, His sense of women with their shifting emotions and fluctuating bodies, and authority- (I can attest to the latter especially), is abstract and shimmery. . He not sure there really is one he can ‘believe’ in.

Surgeons like to say ‘perfection is the destroyer of success’, something like that. Might be code for having Virgo on the Ascendant conjunct Pluto, which he has. He was late at the hospital too, from charting, (thanks to his Mercury and Saturn- lord of sentence (s), but not sentience.)

Perfection might be a key word for his sense of discernment (5 degree Virgo Ascendant – and incidentally also my moon, and my son’s sun- though minutes and seconds are different).

My ex- perceives as ingenious transformative clinician (Pluto and Uranus are conjunct, Uranus rises first though). No wonder is excellent uro-gynecologic surgeon (repairs ladies’ undersides – root chakras). who manifests!

With natal Venus in sextile to Sun and square Moon – he’s in energetic face-off ( healing institutional dance with elderly women (natal Moon conjunct natal Saturn in sign of Pisces and the sixth house- opposing his Ascendant- (in six, not seven-so not directly as allies -but in service (and where we get our earnings).

With Libra on the cusp, he embodies having unusually pleasant abundance. second house of money. He naturally attracts money and income – even through ‘partner’s’ (being the 2nd degree).

(In fact, he has bow-legs- legs aren’t straight – how could they be with being in soft dreamy Pisces (and everything else in his chart)? Pisces as a symbol, is Fused, as in conjoined, H – but both staves are curved. With Pisces moon, He reflects this in form. His shin bones-are ruled by Saturn specifically, and in his 6^th house, dedicated to being in service – and what that looks like to an elderly woman especially) here Shinji, just happened to be transiting too. Oh, and his girlfriend, Roxi, asteroid Roxanne, is exactly transiting my Sun- as in squarely in his 7th house of close partners and relationships.

This is the mystic part, for those who want to tune-out.

Now Shin-ji is genie of Shins. Shins represent our ancestral body (especially as we age and the heavy elements settle there) and are those sticks that our feet hold up.

Without good shins, you sometimes need peg-legs and crutches- extra tools to get around (so if you ‘lose one’ you’ll have to choose wisely. (We don’t all get good ones, it turns out –such as being in families established, traditional or disciplined, let alone masters of any-thing.)

Conjunct his moon and Saturn, Shin-ji was in a face-off with reigning, transiting Spirit (a point in one’s chart where spiritual focus lies – it’s ‘mission’ (at the moment), calculated from the relationship between ascendant, sun and moon), every chart, like every moment, has one.

Seriously I could go on. There’s another whole level (!) underneath – this essay’ll be twenty pages! And I have to finish MY stuff. (Do you understand how a thing can be e-vil – takes one from the villa – doing whatever one willed to do?- and yet I was willing, as in I wanted, to write another essay. And give proper acknowledgement to my feelings too- as I share my insights.

(Before this happened, I had just torn apart my office. books and furniture out; desk stacked high. Office is in the middle of being rearranged (again). Everything is all over my house – and I’ve ballet in the morning. (And it’s not ready for you-know-who or anyone else!).

Our ancestors (and father especially) give us the physical gifts of our home – the IC or Imum Coeli – is where our ‘gift’ feels safest and heart can replete. Make it a place of harmony – will help you succeed. Happy Lunar 2023 New Year! Blessings!

*****

From my perspective, I’d been having the premonition of twist – that might work for or against me- but would affect my ‘course in a way’.  This event qualifies.

I even made a wish for a story. I would say I got one (when the moon was conjunct my Neptune, N.N., and Jupiter). Even though I (and my ex- and the driver, and everyone else) remind myself I’m in “G-d’s hands”, times like these feel terribly stressful.

*****

Texting, I wished him speedy recovery and I’m very glad his girlfriend is picking him up and bringing him to her home up north. He’ll be able to recuperate much better up there without his three flights of stairs to get to the bedroom.

She had already offered to take the family dog while trying to settle the family feud going on over his custody. So you see, all the elements are here already, for him to step into a whole next new life (like I have).

This (I promise) will bring him a sense of happiness and contentment he never knew he could have – in the flesh.

Nonetheless as you might guess, his “accident” will be a catalyst for all kinds of changes (Uranus) that are lasting (Saturn) that are in alignment (Shinji) and meanwhile hurt’s like heck. May he be held in the highest frequency of light to heal in.

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[1] He’s a surgeon. Sur ge-(e)on. One who brings the change(s) to the fabric of being. To ‘surge’ or serge is not passive. A serger sewing machine forces two sides of fabric together -and cuts while it does it (to create a beautiful finished bound edge.)

[2] Advice for recuperation and raise Chi:

1) Wear red.

2) Hold, touch, and look at Shin ש card (made out of red sandpaper and pasted on a 3×5- I’m going to make one to send with his card- as soon as my office is back together).

2) Go outside at the same time as birth – or whenever you associate your most peaceful moments – as much as possible. Once even, is enough. Be in surrender. (that’s the same ‘sweetness’ of your first breath – and when your spirit was the strongest. Recall too your mother trained some of your preferences (and hatreds).

3) Bone broth (organic) (I’ll work on a vegan version).

4) Laugh at least once a day at something silly- but not mean (or of the mean or average).

5) Look at pictures of a normal healthy kneecap while he’s healing.

6) Avoid all doctor’s “data” -diagnoses (namings and spells), xrays, and labs set in negative engrams.

[3] He’d been on the phone with me – for about an hour. It was late already. We’d been discussing strategies about getting the final, as in last dissolution of divorce” document signed, Saturn in 6 theme with Pluto in . turned in an recorded at the Supreme Court house. We’d delayed this last bit for my insurance until I was eligible for Uncle Sam’s medical program; mainly because of my orthopedic pain management.

[4] There’s a Neptune in every chart – where our disco ball blur of life sits; you can’t quite wrap around or grasp truths that come like icebergs in a fog. You don’t know if it’s calved or berg – like if you’re close to the ‘shelf’.

[5] Events like this– and its fallout (which will be of the measurable -we’re talking about his current home with three staircases just to get around, and blue beamer with stick shift – will slow healing.

(In Kaballah – which represents our individual self, and every other, Tipheret- the heart center, heals – as in becomes embodied and energized, with the action of the crumbling Tower releases the bonds. Freeing perfect named energy of Netzach refined by Hod- are Pluto too- as drawn by Ayin ע (eyes) and Nun’s נ entity (specific frequency crystallization left when change stops), is energized. There is always an “ouch” factor. Healing=heeling. For a surgeon seems the way to retire; his partner did something similar. Now he has his war wounds -screws are shrapnel.

[6] Just have to throw in a “whilst” once in a while. Sounds like waltz, which I hope I’ll be doing. Otherwise sounds kind of affected, don’t you think?!