“Because I can”

“Because I can^[1]…”

There are many things I can’t fathom, nor would want to. The cruelty that people inflict on each other… for some momentary victory, that might leave a bunch of fallout, seems astounding. It’s like watching pigs rutting out in their pen, after eating their young. 

Why would someone purposely harm a child just for wantonness sake? Are we really all so expendable?

My first glimpses of motivation for ruling by fear come from my visits with ’my ancestors’^[2].While it is always wise to first ask for “thoughts or ideas” of truth that serve The highest and greatest good (for all beings), rather than oneself alone, as we walk in their shoes, it’s reasonable to understand why we do things, especially if deeply driven.For that journeys can be helpful.

So, using the Voodoo Tarot for my guided instruction, as the Voodoo is a mouthpiece for the Shekinah (divinity voice of mother Gaia). They in spirit adeptly shed light on the Qliphot and serve Love. I went there a few times to visit, in good faith and stated intention, that what would be revealed is for my best. 

Reaching way back along the right side of the corridor, my earliest visitation (so far) to meet my masculine Divine ancestral lineage, in my case starts out working on a galleon ship as a busy trader between coast of port to the east  south-east and possibly Marseille, France. I love the smell of ship, sea spray, and wet wood on wild sea in truth, but there are always “buts” on water. The ship is run well, by me; life is brutal. Life is crude too in its brutality; wenches though they stink, are good for a tumble.

The man (me) is clever, resourceful and, from being hired somewhat randomly off the street (he was escaping his bounds with geographic cure) as a ship hand, with hard work and, like any good scribe, becomes indispensable to the officers (who still treat him like dirt). 

Eventually after working to the top of the ranks, he recognizes his choices are limited. But he hasn’t the resources to buy his own ship. So he must find a way to make his own profits. Knowing the ups and downs ins and outs of the shipping world, he becomes pirate.

He is a driven man- ever refining, wants to claim himself socially and be known. He dreams of his own castle surrounded by loving beauty. His needs are simple, or so he believes. Otherwise he lives in a man’s world where rules are defined by a code of honor failing that enforced with death or worse.

I meet him in another ceremony. This time as a gruff and mature man sharpening his very large (to me) curved blade; its purpose to harm humans. “Well lassie, you’re pretty brave or foolish, to visit”, he said, “family or not, I’d cut you in an instant given the chance”. It’s sport to him to kill – “why not? It’s funny to see them run from me”…”people are so dumb, they can be herded like rats”.

He is successful as he is virile and magnetic, with a glint in his eye. Both men and women fear him. His knives are well sharpened, and he isn’t afraid to use them.

He’s master. As mastery but teaches those around him, he stands his ground with mastery of brutality, even as his hands polish. As his elegance grows, he brings up those around him; as he is leader- though still brutish at his core.

He threatened me a little as his hand glided over the edge of his killing blade. “Well, I don’t see it any other way, …because I can” (do it), “it’s easy to get what you want”. 

He draped himself with beautiful women. Bedded them better and better. But then he tossed them out or kicked them in the can as they got wounded, aged, or pregnant. No one of them really mattered to him; no one was of any true love. He, or technically his henchmen, disposed of the rest without giving them, a second thought.

In time, his brilliant ruthlessness won him to become a royalty^[3].

In my first visit to meet the my ancestral paternal lineage, they’d barely open the door. Though behind the figure who opened it, I saw a long table set for, it seemed, more than 40 and stiffly formal.The room was expansive and lined with mahogany; was really quite visually beautiful, though dark. My impression was that In being lord and master, he only associated with the intelligent, and even then was tyrannical. (Does that sound like anyone else we know- like with initials DJT?).

But in all his riches and creations, there was that empty driving void. That power of insatiability, fed by easy conquests, fueling addictions to lust. Beauty though appealing when he saw it, could never staunch the sucking wound to his heart left by mother dying when he was an infant (or otherwise disconnected -at least until now).

With the help of similar compatriots, his network of acquisition grew. Procuring beauty and young ones for him and his friends was easy. [As Youth craves Power, Power cultivates with Age; Power craves Youth a nice little economic ring that makes the world go around.] Who isn’t inspired by the scent of fresh skin? 

[The French continue to perfect ones individually best perfume- though only a monster in Grasse would make ones of perfect women or so there is a story…. and Is it such a surprise the highly cultured are so perverse as to eat a young boy’s loins?…The Europeans do love their sweetmeats!…The Russians copy with porn snuff films…and the beat goes on.]

My first visit to meet my paternal ancestral lineage, also didn’t go very well. Initially, they would barely open the door for me. A smell of painful isolating shame exuded. Though I could see a long formal table set for 30 or more in the background, not all the places were filled.

I asked them if they had a message for me, “Yes” they whispered to me from behind the heavy door, “the deepest beauty lies within”. 

You see, they’d spent their whole lives stealing beauty from others, they’d not cultivated their own! Now they were living (as an entity spirit lineage) with that. And that is no fun.

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Amazingly the next day or so in the real world of time, I was at Pilates with Jan, my instructor. Sweating through one of my sets (though in Pilates it’s really ladylike!), I was (probably) telling her about my journey to ancestors; it was and is that kind of relationship. At one point, she said to me that her barista told her that morning, “the deepest beauty lies within”. Furthermore, when she grew up she sat at a long formal table for every meal with her father who demanded rigid behaviors! Wow who even lives like that!  

Being both Pisces we had a connection even though she was everything outside I wasn’t, but dream of for my within – blond, natural beauty with graceful ballet body, and retired Christian school educator and principle! 

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^[1]“Can” – Kaph, Aleph, Nun. Taking ones palmful (kaph) from the possibilities (aleph) for ones material self (nun- death;  creating a stillness in life from the passing of murmuration).

^[2]any energetic entity that has ever had an impact on you or your DNA inheritance.

^[3]at one point I thought I saw reference to me having inherited DNA from the French line of royalty, but now can’t find it.