“The twin flame concept is a delusion, I give up I created it all in my head I’m crazy. How can I unbrainwash myself and stop thinking about him?” I read this on Quora – here is my published response:
“I felt this way for about two years after my ‘event’ of a man I barely knew (other than being interviewed by him – so not in any personal way) said a bunch of sweet things before, during, and after I did Reiki on him.
The timing was beyond horrible and wonderful – my husband of then 26 years of marriage had JUST asked for a divorce; I had been hoping to do a spiritually based “Guardians” mystery school course- like learning a procedure for making Holy Water – but the course leaders basically said after doing this course, I’d be committed to their lineage for the rest of my life. Then, I had said (out loud when I read the email) ‘NFW will I commit myself to anyone or anything after 26 years of mediocre marriage’. And canceled my attendance – even at risk of a $500. deposit.
The day the course was supposed to commence was the day of my Reiki ‘event’.
Otherwise I was falling apart and suicidal.
(My (abusive) mother had just died; my dear dog had finally passed; my lovely tuxedo cat disappeared; and I’d said “good-bye” to my father 3000 miles away all the summer of 2019. Being a foster child my bio family was always fraught.
I also was retiring from medicine (I was a physician for 25 years) for good – this was just before the pandemic hit.)
That was Nov 1, 2019 (All Saint’s Day). When the man uttered his phrases- 1) He’d had a dream about a woman leaning over to kiss him -who then turned into Quan Yin and behind her was Archangel Michael (my guides for the last umpteen years which I normally don’t talk about), then 2) “I’m looking for an intense and passionate relationship” basically throatily uttered into my ear, and in response to the query about how much he should pay (we’d discussed sums like $200- $300 dollars an hour during the interview the week before- as in how much he’d charge if I were there (he’s a chiropractor) he looked me deep in the eyes and said “you can do whatever you want”, bam, 3)”I’m a warrior for Love” (which I channeled during the Reiki session (me too). Our ‘visit’ culminated with a golden shard which flew into me like some kind of singularity.
I’ve been in a bipolar state ever since laughing and crying. Luckily too, I feel much better now.
I did go back and ask him what he meant by what he said and it was like it didn’t happen. He’s refused to speak to me again or acknowledge me in any way. Granted I’d always prefaced visits with “you don’t have to say or do anything” and “just say in so many words , “no” “ (hoping) the state of possession (yes it feels like a possession of sorts), would diminish. He’s refused to say anything like that as well!
I did try to “rip him out of my aura” and cord cut. As I tried to “remove” him, I felt like I opened an etheric channel.
Went to several mystics who all said his energy was “fused” with mine and I needed to “birth him.”
During these last four years I’ve been in a state of ongoing possession- and a life full of synchronicities! This is experienced as being nuzzled, necked, kissed, and lovingly touched ~ incessantly. ‘Seeing’ his face several times a day and even having ‘conversations’. I’ve also been in, for lack of a better word, ongoing state of body rapture- for the last almost four years now. Though they’re finally more like hot flashes. I barely sleep.
For months when I left the house, my car radio picked a random station with his name in the call letters (it was my kind of music, very alternative); I lay on the floor listening to 3 days of self hypnosis to get rid of sensation of “unrequitted love”. The next morning, 9AM I step outside to prune a shrub and got to meet my neighbor “” (with the same name)- basically undid all the prior exercises.
At the end of 2020, went to AK for a trip by myself- brought along DVD ‘Sweet Home Alabama’ (one of my favs); didn’t play it ’cause was feeling too tender. But at the end of my trip finally turned on the tv and there it was just at the beginning! Of course I watched it.
The biggest one one of all was already being scheduled to fly to Boston when invited last minute to my dad’s memorial service. I’m so glad I went, even if we weren’t all ‘up in your face’ together, we were there – all three of us siblings and our stepmother’s family.
*****
(This is about half the story. I’ve been a reluctant channel and mystic since I was a kid – honed to AA Michael ~age 7. when I was an emotionally and corporeally (with belts) ab-used child. ‘From mental illness was estranged from mother since age 4’ and father ‘rescued my brother’ but not me (so major abandonment, I was age 5). She ‘kidnapped’ us from home, Marblehead neck near Boston, and brought us 3000 miles away to her parents in Pasadena, California.)
Have had piles of dreams and visions- some lead by others, some spontaneous. in ~2014 I had a ‘light body experience where I fused with a star full of writhing light beings – several were partial fusions coherence with various chakras. Each left a sort of ecstasy. There was one ‘being’ I fused with that was all the chakras (a total body rapture) and another completely rejecting (felt like the boss I was working under at the time). ‘He’ told me (telepathically of course) not to worry about ‘her’ -the rejecting one.
I told ‘him’ “I was already committed to my then husband but it was good to know he’d be there to reunite with in the afterlife!”
I was left feeling as if near orgasmic for over 3 days while further visions came to me.
I was always looking for a spiritual outlet. Any prayers or wishes I’ve made are and were prefaced by the blessing, “for the highest and greatest good for all people” (which includes me down to my tiptoes).
Because I’m good-looking and personable (I’m an empathic Pisces), I attract men who only think of themselves and like others to read them. Meeting a decent one (for me) has been a nemesis. I consciously left that to spirit I choose to call G-d, when I was ~19.
As an answer I got my ex- (who I met exceedingly randomly), who later became a very successful surgeon after we’d been married. You know what they say about “surgeons”, and yes, he fits the bill.
You could say I “let him be himself”. He and I have numerous ~exact degree plantetary synchronicities when you compare our astrologic birth charts. A teacher even wanted to use ours for an example of near perfect clashing and coherence. We are still soul mates (and now almost friends.)
So I’ve been writing about my experience and published multiple essays on my website : drjenwyman-clemons.com, along with several other ‘stories’ about people mis-using their words!
I now am seeing it as a version of soul retrieval and reintegration. I used to think I was only meant to be a servant (I’ve got Pluto at 0 degrees Virgo conjunct my MC)- and after being severed from both parents so young sort of hated myself. I’m now feeling more and more of myself as lovable – as I am without conditions = unconditionally.
So far my experiences line up very precisely with whatever I’ve read here (on the Quora and other Twin Flame websites) too.
PS I spontaneously had a vision of his eyes and face a ~month before meeting him, and a month before my ex- asked for our divorce. This was while meditating- along with my higher guide asking, ‘would you like to meet someone who was in love with you?’ to which I ‘replied, “only if I were whole (or Hole).” Wasn’t sure which way or both I meant. I don’t know when he had his “dream” of ?me.
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And Pluto was transiting exactly on my natal Mars- there another whole story there! “
(I have embellished this story since publishing on Quora).
