Stoop-ed

When did you forget to look up? Can you remember the last time you got to be fool, and yet, there was someone there looking out or after you? When was the last time someone snapped, ‘look out where you’re going’, with your gaze lowered down?

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Over time, our chins dip and shoulders curve in a little. No longer are we are reed tall selves, standing powerful and clear but flattened, we forget to spiral with our winds of change.

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So how does one get this way, anyway?

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Being a mom, for me anyway, I may believe[1]can see an outcome, another can’t see. I want to tell them, or perhaps told them already. “Please do this or that, or you’ll only hurt yourself more”, or some similar sentiment. I found many ways to put my warnings out, but nay, whatever I say, my party doesn’t concur – persisting in stoop-ed behaviors, as it happens, especially with ‘tweens and teenagers- though this is also often true about men of a certain age.

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When dumb[2] things happen, we have hormones and angst to blame, or the internet or what a neighbor said or did. Our IAM self lost balance and over-did a thing. Engrams manifest in our soma self, like Qoph’s false flag- both limiting and rewarding, as entities settle right in to help us steer.  Imbalances are inevitable- No longer our Keter of Kabbalah we aim for – our individual highest and best self. But something more of Ayin’s addictions.

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As toddlers we ‘think’ we can be and do anything- horizons have no limits – until someone says you “can’t” or “you won’t amount to..”. Listening to a bunch of hodgepodge static (at best), which you might hear at “school”.. it’s easy to ‘trip’, up and create limiting beliefs, as the young brain unfolds.[3]

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There are times you want to so say, “I told you so”, but you know it’d be unkind –after a ‘lesson’ another might learn. So you don’t say a thing, bite your lips (pour a glass of wine) instead, maybe distract, watching them go down an anticipated path of suffering- especially one you know you might have to deal with later..when the burden is on you, as “mom” to make it all better.

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Or so I used to feel. I haven’t given up- exactly, but try to wait before casting judgment. When one is not given agency, meaning forbidden to make a mistake, they have no way of testing  or learning from their poor outcome.

While I have few regrets (used to think I had none…[4]) one is arguing and fighting with my six-foot tall 16 year-old son about going out on Halloween night with a life-like semi-automatic rifle- (aside from a small tip of bright orange at the end). That confrontation didn’t go well- even the police were called.

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But then what would have been a more productive or positive outcome? Not sure, either way my ex- didn’t share my concerns- so in the end, the teen “won”. (Really he “lost” an advocate- but maybe he doesn’t need her (me) now.)

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So when I met my friend ‘Molly’, not her actual name, with a family of five, including her husband (who still acts like he’s ten), at one point I asked her, “What is your secret” to dealing with stoop-ed? How can one be helpful? And her answer was, “you just gotta love them”. Ouch- I thought, her answer I wasn’t expecting at all- (nor am I sure I completely agree with her).

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But at the time, I took that as good advice from one with aplomb amidst chaos. (Now I think it wiser to bow out- give them tough love and rescue themselves- the earlier the better).

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Now Love, as we know, is a word contested by Buddhists.  To them there is no such thing[5]; although Vipassana  notes dissonance and teaches witnessing.

As sensations of love come from being in attunement with another – two sets of hive minds creating hive-mind resonant fields- heart – to – heart, especially, I am happy to be off their path.

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Spelled L-O-V-E (Lamed (judgement- Yod’s bending to reality becoming Vau) with OV, the egg, with an e, for change on the end). OV is also Samech (union of Teth’s alchemical fusion of form with force into unity). Vau –the obedient one, Vau is ~squared- like area of a circle; is Vau quintessentially.

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Together with another wave form being, LOVE is heart’s reciprocal blessing- coherence with another’s. Love sparks our creative egg self[6], the one who arrives with a joyful, “I made it”- after the dense and trying storm. Seeing their face is so dear– the whole world melts away. A whole new you is brought to the foray. We are so chameleons.

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Your soma self, who connects your senses to response, is deeply reassured- next time check your own heart beat when you (finally) get home[7].

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But familiarity breeds con-tempt.[8] Our wishes for ‘ ideal’ external life get projected by, with, or on another. From our single-eyed view, dignity is forgotten feeling like subsuming disregard (at least until now). We forget the other being’s divinity- their IAM self (though we may experience lots of their “I AM”).

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Did you know, we feel the car’s edges as if it were our own body space- feels like an extension of oneself while driving? This is inevitable when soma’s self coordinates the car in the conceptual unconscious[9][10]?  Which is why it feels so offensive when another car cuts us of.  Our personal bubble feels invaded!

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We can’t know if the other driver is bumbling or in some special hurry- though we often project assumptions. Then the media tags it for another story of road animosity.

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Coming home to our castle is similar – to soma’s point of view. We experience others as if they were part of the landscape (rooms). When clearly they are not! Take some time for all parties to reorient after transitions from out to in will help.

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Mashallah Habibi.


[1] Be-lieve as in ‘truths’ I have learned from my ancestral beings…that enrobe and protect me from otherwise reality.

[2] Dumb is without voice (for it’s cause); driven by the ‘nonverbal’ parts of ourselves.

[3] Gyri turn on exactly when ready or needed.The epithelial lining of the brain’s ventricles is impermeant at birth, but gradually becomes sequentially more connected to CSF mainstream, in a sequential way as the embryo and young brain matures. As tissues receive these less ‘digested’ versions of CSF, new circuitry activates with age-appropriate behaviors and understandings. Using entheogens (microdosed or otherwise) artificially opens these portals – but there is scant learning without context.

[4] I should never have permitted my sons to be circumcised. By formally scarifying them, I desecrated their body’s garden.

[5] Love or emotions to another, are a source of attachment – for Buddhists a thing to be eschewed if one wishes to reach “Nirvana” whilst in the flesh – a state of quintessential bliss. Ah men with their illusions, is what I say. Would that being born from a test-tube make a being less pained.

[6] The orphic egg and our ‘egg self’, is described in “Journey to the Snake G-ddess”.

[7] If not, consider marriage counseling with role-playing; or perhaps a change.

[8] To treat someone with temptation – a thing not in alignment with one’s highest good or health.

[9] Passengers feel the car similarly, which is why automated cars won’t really decrease angst- unless passengers look away.

[10] A car can also be thought of as one’s chariot of self.

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