I heard a funny story of
Kids playing an Easter game.
They dress up their Peeps candies
And melt them in the microwave.
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Timing to see which becomes unrecognizable first,
they videotape it and give subtitles
while their Peep’s candy faces –
efface from the inside out.
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You know that’s how a microwave cooks
by boiling a tissue’s inner water.
By the time it warms to touch,
it’s proteins coagulate from the inside out.
[Does this form new protein globs when they congeal and melt? Is this even to a body, recognizable as food? Hmm, an idea for a study perhaps-meanwhile I’ll stop using it).
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Microwave doesn’t care-
it does the ‘dirty’ work-
as programmed by ‘god’-
hu(e)-man who pushes the (right) buttons.
*
Like Angry Orange claymations,
with their lively sound effects,
but in Bo- Peep pastels.
The Peeps go down, flat upon the plate.
*
As their masked beings slowly crumple,
features pool,
props topple.
Bodies melt like water on the Wicked Witch.
*
I wonder if the Peeps ‘don’t like’ it at all,
(but then I might be projecting.)
Good thing they’re not sentient
simply a man’s idea for fun Easter – besides chocolate eggs.
*
Nonetheless, the story made me laugh out loud –
I almost wet my pants;
I thought it hilarious-
Compared to the de—mented stuff
my ex- might do or did,
this is innocuous.
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(As a kid he thought it was funny using (insert slug or bug’s name here)
To watch as he zapped them
It was funny to ‘make them dead[1]‘-
as if they were a cartoon.)
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I’ll have to tell him about the Peeps instead!
It’s not a bad ‘job’ for them (the Peeps) to do at all –
Call it repurposing.
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Even though Peeps as candy are fun and squishy
The taste is flat and sickly sweet (at least to me),
Call it my fault – I can’t but taste an underlying bitterness-
probably the potassium sorbate.
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Perhaps for a candy,
I’d prefer organic marshmallow
dyed with saffron
for a more edible substitute.
*
But if your bored, why not dress up a Peep
And see how long it lasts –
before it melts
in a microwave race?
.
[1] Apparently insects are a great protein source- or so some nutritionist’s say (I suspect they are quite correct- we can digest them in fact; I’d bet grubs might be a specialty someday). He, my ex- shouldn’t stop there, but find a way to further prepare them. (If you have a destructive behavior, why not roll with it- become a food scientist?!).
