A Musing about my Love Angel [1]

Sometimes I wonder what I would do if ‘he’ showed up here, actually?

He could one day, I’m ~ sure of it. AS if I could be sure of anything, that is. Which really is nothing[2]. Anyway what if he did, would I need to make a big fuss about it? Broadcast and cash in the tickets I could ‘sell’ heralding my success?

I think not.

I would prefer to say no-thing to anybody and stay incognito.

Personally less drama, is less draining.

I have enough of it -just last week lovely Luna kitty,

Got sick with emanating mishaps.

Then she got so quiet, I thought she might pass.

Thankfully she’s all healed

And back to her old self!

But that took fluids from the vet;

Not Divine intervention[3], other than me noticing, I suppose.

I’d rather be spending my time with him

Than Him (or Her) or Om-ing;

Since while at-one-ment is ‘real’

In the quantum field, when you’re al-one, that’s really helpful,

Being two humans together is ‘real-er’[4] .

Love-making any time, raises the planet’s vibration –

Flames reuniting as beloveds In flesh, I can only imagine –

Maybe it’ll be like the book, “Like water for Chocolate”’s ending. Though, I really hope not!

***

Love carries (work over time) more weight (mass) in energy density, than any other emotion,

And Love is Gaia’s highest calling. 

*****

…And I’d rather be in service to my beloved,

Than be bystander spectacle!

Please don’t take that personally, when I become small, quiet and still.

Then you might not notice me; I like living as a monk with my birds and trees.

It is easier to be in at-one- ment, when you are AL- one.

And I can think and do any old thing…like dreaming an essay that helps you and me!

With you face to face, I am attentive.

Sometimes too much so, my ex- might have said of me, at least until now.

Mitochondria and prion biology also stirs me; I need to read –

I might miss something important that might help somebody.

I’d probably write as much about him, as I have all along, which is minimal.

My words won’t do him justice, but the wrong ones might hurt.

[5] I’m sure I’ll write something ‘lovely’, as G-d is my judge,  but we’ll see how much more really. I hope I get to shift gears, after a good 108.

And then maybe, my shofar can lay as if in a sacred place.

Please visualize Her resting by a beautiful stream fountain high in the Himalaya – as that is where i found Her, a very long time ago surrounded by open sky and mountains.

And then I can get on with living in a different way!

At least If I can, why not try?

*****

Details between us are best kept private – I’m sure we’ll have our ‘stuff’,

Don’t you think a little privacy is what you’d like?[6]

I can’t be in at-one-ment already with him- and with you at the same time either.

But I can switch my gears

 by cultivating more of the one I want;

Which leaves less time for the other.

Even if my shofar dries up, or

starts collecting spit on her coils, I have yielded to my calling.

*****

No one can take your Soul Song away from you.

Your soul song is your full given name’s vowels,

Sung very slowly.

Sing each vowel one-by-one.

Sing it in the shower.

Do this about three of four times.

It may seem rusty at first, but you’ll soon get the hang of it.

You can sing it all the time,

even to yourself in a crowd.

Do this with feeling, and surely your heart will lift.

 Try it too,

In the four directions-

or try it after doing a seven directional blessing -the four compass, then up and down and within.

Send and receiving blessings for all beings large and small, dark and light, seen and unseen for all’s highest and greatest good..

This will strengthen your toriodal self.

*****

Caroline Casey stands by the words, “toss them the key”, … “they can use the key to free themselves (from their prisons), or wear as shiny necklace”. “You otherwise owe nothing; do what makes you happy.”

I like that advice.

I am glad she said that to me… as absolution for whatever I do not do in the future.

What is given is your choice to heed;

Your living free will in action,

Once again!

All is Inshallah.

May G-d gently drizzle or rain His blessings on you (depending on your climate)!


[1] My love apparition is still with me – I just have to keep reminding myself, “it was I who fell in love with him”; “he’s a psychological projection”; I don’t know anything else – though ‘he’ did kiss me on the nose this morning!

[2] I did send him my love letter, as well as a promise. At least for my soma being, I’ve put my cards on the table for now.

[3] Bringing her to the vet does seem hypocritical to me, but fluids are always fair game, as a bolus anyway.

[4] Being “real” is the weighted sum of energy vector fields both electric and mag.netic  ; with coherence you can transform a lot of energy into sensation without even moving…which is tantra yoga.

[5] I’m honoring laws of neurolinquistics – if “no” were really the answer. I was hoping not to se-duce (lead him to me – that’s Latin), but rather he were attracted.

[6] I’m an introverted-intuitive according to Meyer’s-Briggs, and I did use to get overwhelmed easily- until I stopped automatically reading auras (my synesthesia). Thanks to the pandemic, expectations are lowered, and I’m glad I don’t have to go out as much.

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